Afraid to end relationship because of the thought of disclosing to new partners?

[monolaurinismyfriend]

Hi. I have genital HSV1. I had my first outbreak in early 2016, and then didn't get my second outbreak until 2 and a half years later (this past July). Thinking I would never get it again because it's genital HSV1, the shock and shame I felt was so intense. When I had the 2nd outbreak I happened to have just started dating this amazing guy who I'm still with now. When I disclosed to him, he was so kind about it and really calmed my nerves and shame. He takes supplements that I give him to helpfully help his immune system, and as far as we know (knock on wood) he hasn't gotten it yet, hopefully.

Anyway, for other reasons, I feel like I want to break up with him. But every time I think about breaking up with him, I remember how nice he was about my OB and how not a lot of people are. I used to not tell people because I figured it wouldn't happen again being HSV1 and if we were safe it was fine (not the right mindset I know), so I wasn't worried about being on the dating scene before my 2nd OB. But now that I had my 2nd OB I'm terrified to date again and have to disclose AGAIN and possibly be rejected. 

 

Has anyone been in a similar experience?

[AnastasiaB]

If he's not the right guy for you, staying with him because he was kind about your disclosure is not fair to you or to him. Hey, disclosing is tough, but being in a relationship out of obligation -- possibly for years -- is worse in my opinion.

What I'm finding through all of these forum posts is the the majority of people who hear our disclosures are appreciative that we said it. I disclosed for the first time on Friday and he -- knowing it was difficult for me to say -- said, "Thank you for telling me. It's such a respectable thing to do" and then we continued to hook up (no sex though because I wanted him to think about it longer) 

Don't settle in your happiness because of an overly and unnecessarily stigmatized skin condition 🙂