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Honestly after successful disclosure?


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Hi! Im a 25 year old girl who has had HSV2 for 5 years now. I ALWAYS disclose to my sex partners before we sleep together and ALWAYS use condoms. I try to be confident and state the facts and (truthfully) say it rarely affects me and I only have a couple outbreaks a year and would never sleep with someone if I felt it would be risky.  Disclosures have all been positive for me (I’ve disclosed to at least 10 guys and my family / friends) but haven’t wound up having an outbreak while in a relationship/regularly sleeping with someone. 

Ive been single the past few years and I just met a new guy who I reallyyy like and could actually see a potential future with... we had a great first couple dates then I disclosed. He was kind and supportive and we slept together on two occasions. He thanked me after for being honest and said he trusts me. 

Cue now— I woke up today (4 days after we last slept together) feeling a little tingly and an out break started. It’s small and manageable just one sore BUT this is the first time I have had an actual outbreak while dating someone... 

He knows I have herpes but I’m petrified to tell him this early on that I’m having an actual outbreak. We’re planning on hanging out this week and I know it won’t be 100% safe for me to have sex yet. I have been non stop debating lying and saying I’m on my period or just not going home with him but that doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to start things off by lying (TMI but I do like period sex and I do want to go home and chill/watch tv with him) but I’m scared that if I say hey I’m having an outbreak it’ll make it more real to him and scare him off...  

Any advice on how to be honest after the disclosure goes well? Thanks guys I really appreciate it! Would you be honest and say I’m having an outbreak and can’t have sex right now but want to hangout OR just avoid sex by only seeing him in public / blaming your period? 

Any advice would greatly help! 

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I understand where you are coming from. I commend you for being so honest and disclosing in the first place and he seems very cool and obviously wants to be with you. I would see how you feel when the weekend gets closer. The more you stress and freak out, the more you'll stress and freak out. You can always say you aren't feeling well and don't add details.

You don't need to specifically blame your period. But if the weekend comes and you don't feel well enough to go out then just stay home and say you don't feel well - again no details about why. It's not lying, it's not omitting. You need to take care of your mental and physical health and if you're stressed, it won't help. Hope this helps. Let me know how it goes. 

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