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I'm sure this is herpes. Afraid to test for confirmation

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Hi everyone I'm Kay. Kinda long story but this will be as short as possible. 5months ago my husband and I separated. Month after that I fell for the "Your perfect, you deserve better from a friend of mine" and we slept together about 6 times all times vaginal protected, unprotected oral from him, and I never gave him oral. One time he did rub his bare penis on my vagina and butt for about a minute or so. We also kissed, ALOT. 2months after our sexual encounters I started feeling weird cold sensations on my butt and thighs, crawling bugs, pins and needles in my legs, feet and pelvis area. Then I started feeling the same in my face. Every week its something new, achy ears, blurred vision, achy eye balls, constipation, my periods changed I'm have 2 periods a month now,   sore muscles every other day, shooting thigh pains, back aches, hell my hips hurt now as I'm typing. Just a bunch of neurological malfunctions. I've never had any blisters oral or vaginal or any clear signs of herpes but I just kno that's what it is. I've done alot of research and it all ties back to herpes. I was also having sleep distances (RLS), my doc gave me Gabapentin which stopped the RLS immediately, but I still have all the other pains, still tingling fingers, sore and achy knees, elbows, and ankles. My knees and stiff neck are the worst. Not to mention I can keep energy, I'm always tired. Im a diabetic so I'm not new to neuropathy, but this neuropathy is a different feeling. Its whole body neurological malfunctions. My eyes are sensitive to light, and my skin is sensitive to touch and cold air. Is this really primary herpes?

I was ok and not freaking out for a while, but then my husband and I decided to work things out. Had sex unprotected vaginal and oral.... 2 months later he gets this swollen area on his lip. He says he took out the garbage and accidentally touched his mouth and 2 hours later the bump appeared. He said it itched before it showed up, no pain or weird feeling. It lasted about a week and just went away. I was just gonna see how it plays out for me because my doctor says she thinks its fibromyalgia and because I haven't had lesions or scars. She is not worried about herpes

5 days ago my husband came home complaining of soar thighs as if he worked out and a achy back. NO IM WORRIED AND POSITIVE THIS IS HERPES... I'm just scared shitless to go test for it... how do I break the news to my partner of almost 10yrs. 

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Hey K.  From reading your story it doesn’t sound like herpes.  The biggest tell of herpes would be lesions at least and you haven’t even experienced this.    All of your other  issues can easily fall under the umbrella of diabetes complications (neuropathy) and maybe you over thinking this situation has just got your nerves fired up.    I also think had you picked up the virus from you friend you would have experienced the cold sore before your husband.  I say that because you have a weakened immune system so if the virus was going to be able to manifest I’d think you would have had a cold sore.  

Also, on your separation did your husband become involved with anyone else? If so, oral herpes is VERY common so this may not even be on you... 

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