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Trying to get my life back... Questions!

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Im a female...recently was diagnosed with gH..don't know which mind yet. I have to say that this forum has saved my life, literally. I've had several worries/concerns in attempting to take control of my life. I apologize if some of these questions are stupid. 

1. I know there's research to show that H can't be spread through sheets, towels, toliets, etc. Does this include towels recently used after a shower? Not that I share towels with anyone but it causes great anxiety to think that I can give it to someone else after I shower if they happen to use or touch it. 

2. I've read that transmission rates significantly decrease (1% from female to male) with medication and condoms and avoiding sex during an OB. Does it lower it even more if there is some sort of other "protector" like a make wearing boxers? Or female wearing some sort of underwear that limits skin to skin contact? 

3. Females- how do you go about showering and keeping it all clean? I've had major anxiety about touching down there while washing my body. I use a mesh body sponge for my body but afraid to use the same one to wash down there. To be honest I've been using a wet paper towel or wet toliet paper so that I can throw it out after each shower and I immediately wash my hands even though I just used soap to wash my body...(I know I probably sound crazy) 

4. Transmission rates: I've read that it is 1% from female to male when all procautions have been taken per year. What does that really mean 1% per year? I know it varies from person to person. 

5. Ive read that it is very rare for someone to get it on their fingers. When a male uses their hands or fingers to stimulate is there any sort of protection for them? Ive read dental dams work for oral. 


Just attempting to get as much info as I can. As well as ease my brain back down from the edge of a mental break down. Not at all ready for any kind of relationship nor am I even close to being ready to disclose to anyone. So just taking baby steps to getting my life back. 😞


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Hi Lovenhope

Firstly sorry that you have found yourself here! 

I will do my best to answer your questions.

1. No (I think the virus dies within less than 10 seconds when not in contact with flesh)

2. That's a debatable subject but personally I don't think you can get below 1%.
     I think the 1% is with taking medication/suppressants & using condoms.

3. I have to pass on this one as I'm not female 😎

4. Again another debatable one, don't even know how they come up with that one,
    for me it is a 1% chance of passing it every time you have sex.

5. I have had it on my finger (known as Whitlow finger), it used to be the trigger that told me I was
    going to get a genital OB.
    I guess latex gloves is the best solution for that.

Hope that helps 😊 & hope you get your life back because you are still as great as you were before 😉



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howdy. Amandos answers were on the money. Theres a video of Doctor Leone discussing some aspect of herpes, including sexual intimacy ones. 

1. I have always found this one a bit perplexing, we are told to not share towels ( which is a good GENERAL hygiene practice) but that it cant be transmitted via a toilet seat??? I have read that hsv 1 can live outside the human body a little longer than hsv2 due to its "native habitat" being more exposed. But its still not a whole lot longer, seconds. The idea that you could dry with a towel then give it to someone else would be an absolute statistical anomaly of biblical proportions. You would need a newly opend fresh sore wiped then handed to a person who wipes the exact spot on an open cut as there wouldnt be enough virus on the towel for straight up whole skin transmission and they have to do this in seconds! What are they? a ninja?

2. Same as Amando, dont think it can get statistically below 1% short of abstinence an who wants that? There are some funky looking horribly unsexy rubber undies with a whole in them for, um our , um equipment, to go thru that with a condom are suppose to help ( im thinking the research on this is dubious) and really, would you want your partner wearing a diaper liner?? thats something you cant unsee.

3. i, like Amando am an outy so i cant speak to the specifics of it but I would say, A treat it nicely and clean gently. B the virus and soap arent  friends, heck the chloramine in your water is enough to kill the virus and C your talking about auto innoculation which is tough to do once your immune system has the anti bodies built up.

4. The stats Ive never understood, there are places where its explained but 10 seconds of reading stats and i want to poke my eyes with a fork. 

5. Gloves would work if your that worried. You probably should find out the type you have so as to help with this one a bit. IE lots of people have OHSV1 so if you have GHSV1 it would be tough for your partner to get it ( not impossible).

My personal experience is that there is alot of worry about little things when one is first diagnosed but with time they diminish. If it makes you feel better to use a new towel everytime then do so, it allows some control for you, hell i still spray down and wipe the toilet seat when my son is coming over even though I know he wont catch anything as its a habit i developed when i was diagnosed. And its never a bad thing to have a clean seat 🙂


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