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I had the talk tonight with the man I’ve been seeing for a little over a month .  He looked more saddened than anything... he just held me .  I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be able to handle this in the long run and I don’t blame him.  I would feel absolutely guilty and awful if I gave it to him .  I feel heartbroken already and he hasn’t told me yet that he doesn’t want to continue our relationship.  I can’t imagine finding someone better suited for me & I have already developed such strong feelings for him .  We would have had a great relationship if it wasn’t for this.  I’m pretty sure tonight was the beginning of goodbye.  

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I’m so sorry to hear that. When I disclosed to a guy and he needed time to process the information I sent him some YouTube videos that are very informative on HSV. Those videos actually helped him process the information along with me being open and honest about my HSV and giving him all the facts and answering all his questions. I also gave him statistics on how beneficial suppressive therapy is when in a relationship with a herpes negative. With all that, he continued to want to see me. Hope this helps. 

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You might say that you'd like to give him some time to think about it, and then send the info along as per Jessica08's post to help him mull it over. Also, a good idea when giving the talk is not to make it seem like a big deal, because it doesn't have to be. There's a really great thread on this forum here: 

While I'm ambivalent about doing it over text, one thing that I do think is key is not presenting it like herpes is a living nightmare or that you're inviting him to suffer through something with you. You'll find most people don't know much about herpes and will follow your emotional que. If you're calm, they will be calm. If you are very upset, they will similarly become anxious. 

Lastly, encourage them to do some of their own research before they make any decisions. I really think it sounds like this guy might come around, but if he doesn't, a lot of other guys will. Let us know how it goes. 

 

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Thank you for taking the time to reply.  He is still texting me & acting “normal “, but I’m sure he hasn’t really processed everything yet.  I’m just so sad that this is the only thing standing in my way of a potentially wonderful relationship. 

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Thank you for posting. This gives me hope/support for handling things when I disclose to the guy I just met right before my recent diagnosis. 

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