venting ;( it's one of those nights

[Loyalloulou]

I've had these sores/razor like bumps downstairs since August 2018.which was when  I was diagnosed with hsv1..  I can't stand to look at myself anymore. I don't think I can move on in life. I  don't want to be the one who ruins someone life. im advoing my spouse bc I  don't want to be the one to fuck up his life. I won't be able to leave my life like this. I have suicidal thoughts all the time. no one knows but me and my spouse. he says everything going to be okay. and he still wants to be with me. I feel like a monster bc we have unprotected sex he says he doesn't care about it and that he will always love me for me.  I feel guilty even though he wants too. I feel even more disgusted because I don't know when I'm having an outbreak or anything.  

[Amando]

Hi Loyalloulou

I'm so sorry your feeling like you are but you are not a monster, you have done nothing wrong!
It seems so common for people to feel disgusting/monsters & blame themselves but this is just wrong,
No one goes looking for Herpes its just one of many things that can happen in life.

Your spouse knows the situation & wants to be with you & has been brilliant
You are not & can not fuck up his life because he clearly loves you, so cherish that 😉

Please enjoy the fact that you have a great guy & stop beating yourself up

Big Hugs!