I need to share my story...

[eastcoastgirl]

Hi there. First time joining a forum of any kind but seeing as I’ve never gone through anything like this I felt the need to share. You know that feeling, where you need to talk about it but don’t want to tell anyone? Out of everything I’ve read online (and I’ve done a LOT of research) this site and these forums have been the most helpful by far.

I understand that so many people have it much worse than I do but I’m just so mind f***ed that this is happening to me. I’m female, 25, attractive, good job, my life has been wonderful thus far. I’ll also note that I’m gay (and very girly not like that matters lol but I’m definitely not a stereotype!) but back in the day I would sleep around and slept with men at one point too. I would have expected this to happen back then in my life, but not now and that’s what trips me out the most. That really goes to show how easily you can get it and how it doesn’t make you a “slut” or “dirty”- a freaking virgin could get this. I will interject too and say that after educating myself on herpes I feel like everything I once thought about it is false. It’s sad that most of the world will never know that and will hold that judgment just because of the stereotypes surrounding the disease.

Anyways, I was in a two year relationship. When her and I broke up I slept with one girl one time and that was the extent of my “single days”. Shortly after that encounter I met another girl and the two of us completely fell for each other and started dating. She’s amazing, beautiful, successful, you name it. Of course we’ve been sleeping together for a while now and are completely committed. Given that I didn’t sleep around much, that narrowed down how I could have gotten this.

A week ago I got a weird bump on the outer labia of my vagina. It also started burning when I peed but I dismissed it as a UTI. Within two days I had a full on genital outbreak with many sores both inside and outside. I was in shock as I get tested yearly and knew this was new. I assumed I got it from the girl who was a one night stand since if it was my current girlfriend, surely I would have gotten it sooner as we had been dating for two months at that point? Wrong. I went to the doctor, diagnosed with herpes. I had a blood test done and it came back negative for both 1 AND 2, which my doctor said is common when it’s so newly contracted. So at least that told me that it WAS new and I did not have herpes a week prior. My current girlfriend went and got a blood test- positive for HSV1. She was in shock and completely torn up about it. She had not once had an outbreak, never had a cold sore, nothing. She had been living with herpes and had no clue... if this didn’t happen to me she still wouldn’t have known. The sad thing for her is she will never know when and how she got it. It could have been as a child, in college, she’ll never know. But she passed it to me via oral sex and gave me HSV1 on my genitals. I struggled a lot knowing I now have this disease I’ll have to live with forever, that I’ll potentially go through more painful outbreaks, but I can’t and don’t blame her as she had zero idea. I got on medication and will do suppressive therapy as suggested by my doctor. I don’t have any health issues and have never been prescribed anything, so it’s weird to know that I’ll now be on medication for the rest of my life. 

My outbreak is clearing up now which is great, and we’re staying together and doing really well. I just had to share my story because it still trips me out how easily this disease is passed, how some people will never know they have it, and how we slept together for two months and I didn’t contract it from her until a week ago. Herpes is confusing. 

[Whymewhynow]

@eastcoastgirl wow!! Isn't it so confusing?? It's so hard to get a true understanding because it just seems to be all over the board. Every experience is unique and sometimes vastly different from the next. I have not be with anyone in a year and one day a couple of months ago I woke up with a cold sore and seem to have been continuously getting them ever since. I went to the Dr and for blood testing and came up positive for 1 and 2. WTH?!! No idea when or from who. I'm still so confused about it but now I know it can lie dormant for YEARS! 

[eastcoastgirl]

1 hour ago, Whymewhynow said:

@eastcoastgirl wow!! Isn't it so confusing?? It's so hard to get a true understanding because it just seems to be all over the board. Every experience is unique and sometimes vastly different from the next. I have not be with anyone in a year and one day a couple of months ago I woke up with a cold sore and seem to have been continuously getting them ever since. I went to the Dr and for blood testing and came up positive for 1 and 2. WTH?!! No idea when or from who. I'm still so confused about it but now I know it can lie dormant for YEARS! 

It is confusing!!! That was the one thing my girlfriend and I kept saying as we did research.. how did she have it and never have a single outbreak or any clue, why did I not get it from her the first time we slept together and instead I randomly got it the millionth time we did... it makes no sense! And in your case, why did you randomly get an outbreak now?! When did you get it, when did my girlfriend get it, how... there’s just so many unanswered questions. Once my party days were over I truly thought I was safe from the whole STD thing, but that goes to show how easily this disease is spread and how common it is. What kills me is the stereotypes. I now have gotten sores on my vagina but that in no way indicates me being a “dirty” person even though it would sound like it to other people who are uneducated! This experience really has educated me though. I’ve only had it a little over a week and it’s hard accepting I will forever. It’s like my life has changed but it also hasn’t. I just pray I have it easy and my daily meds prevent future outbreaks. And I should be very grateful to have gone through this with someone I already was super happy with and we mutually wanted to be together for a long time... now we joke that we’re stuck together because of this, LOL.