Terrified to disclose

[Lovenhope]

First of all I am not sure where I'd be without finding this forum. This continues to be a huge roller coaster of emotion for me mostly because of the giver being my attacker at the same time. Was diagnosed in November and have been trying to focus on getting back to "normal" again. Been trying to keep the hope that it'll all be ok soon and that I couldn't have done anything to stop my giver/assulter.

 

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, after taking the advice from my counselor to just go outnand date. Not worry about telling  people. met someone online. We started talking and met up for dinner. Found out we have common friends, and this automatically made me spiral down again. My brain Automatically went to thinking "great. He knows so and so and they know everyone I know. I'm going to have eto tell him and if he rejects me he's going to share that information with all of those people" 😞 my counselor reassured me to take it day by day. Took her advice and we now hung out 2 days this past week and have been texting daily. I guess just need support in disclosing at some point in the future. He has made some comments that has made me terrified to disclose. (Like being super conservative, not that ppolitical views make me think differently just worried he won't be open minded. And mentioned having super sensitive skin.) I understand the importance of not making it seem  like a big deal and having statistics...but nowHowu get the condidence? And I know..everyone  keeps saying "they aren't rejecting you they are rejecting the virus"... Still hurts like hell.... My hearlrt hurts knowing that this stupid thing could ruin this. 😞 Any support would be helpful. 

[Amando]

Hi

I know its hard disclosing & a lot of us on here have been rejected along the way but it does work the other way too
& some beautiful people accept you as you are.
It may be trickier if he knows some people you know but its not that likely that he'll go around talking about it to others.
Be brave & just do it!

I'm not one for that line "they aren't rejecting you they are rejecting the virus", to me that makes it worse
because I can understand being rejected for something they don't like about me but that leaves me feeling cheated!

Good luck, you can do this 👍

 

[sam57]

Hey, 

I totally understand. A couple months ago I got out of a 3 year relationship with the guy that gave me herpes. Fast forward to now, I had been talking to this guy who I was interested in and I too had to tell him eventually. While it was very very hard disclosing it turned out 110% better than I thought it would. The guy was totally cool with it and made me feel very secure even when I felt very insecure about it all. While I know this isn't the case for everyone I think it is worth the risk. It is too lonely sitting inside of your own head and restricting yourself from living your life. And if he does decide to not continue the relationship you have to respect that choice. I was not given that choice (ex said he didn't know, which I believe because he never ever showed any symptoms) but had I been I would have respected him for it.