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Robdarko

How you dealt with the person who knowingly gave you herpes in a relatiosnhip

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Hello All Good Souls

I have posted my story before about how a girl I was dating for 4 months did not disclose about her GHSV1 status and we engaged in sex multiple times. The unfortunate part is the transmission rate of female to male is really low but I was the unlucky 1% guy that got it. Since I confronted her about the condition we did not engage in any activity and then after a week she broke up with me and left me with this condition. However, I was there for her and was gathering information about how to deal with this condition and still be a good couple. But she ghosted me and said she does not want to be with me and I should figure out myself how to deal with it and move on, She had no remorse that she did not disclose it to me and she did not feel bad about it. She said she will start dating again.

So my question is how should I deal with this situation, I am terrified that if I date other people they would not want to be with me. I am a very health sensitive person and this diagnosis has had a big emotional and psychological impact on me. What bothers me is that she did not have any remorse that she did a wrong thing and wants to be selfish and just move on.

How have people dealt with this situation before from your giver? Anyone thought if legal action?

Really looking for support and advice here

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Hey, I’m new here but was inspired to reply to your post. I’m so sorry that things happened for you this way. It was so incredibly selfish for her to treat you this way.

I too contracted this from my (now ex) boyfriend who knew he had it but didn’t tell me. It really is the worst. 

I hope you find this site useful and it reminds you that sometimes this can feel like the loneliest thing ever, but actually there are so many of us in the same boat, 

Keep your chin up. x

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I am pretty sure my ex of 1 1/2 gave me hsv2 since I was not sexually active for close to two years before we started dating. I believe, since he isn’t the type to go to the doctor unless it’s serious, he was asymptomatic and/or had very mild symptoms he dismissed in the past. I was shocked, very upset, but we moved forward. We just broke up for other reasons, I left him because of his emotional unavailability... I’m fearful as well about disclosure starting a new relationship/dating in the future.. but not going to stay in a relationship just because I feel accepted with hsv2. The right person will love you regardless.. it’s scary but it’ll be ok.. that’s what I keep telling myself st least.. 

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Problem is there is no sure way to tell exactly how or who you got it from.. so not sure if it would stand up in court unfortunately.. I hate the fact that all I got from my last relationship is a broken heart and this incurable disease.  

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7 hours ago, nik77 said:

Problem is there is no sure way to tell exactly how or who you got it from.. so not sure if it would stand up in court unfortunately.. I hate the fact that all I got from my last relationship is a broken heart and this incurable disease.  

Thanks nik77 are you in North America because in few states even if you don't get the infection you can still sue someone for knowingly transmitting an STD.

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17 hours ago, ClareUK said:

Hey, I’m new here but was inspired to reply to your post. I’m so sorry that things happened for you this way. It was so incredibly selfish for her to treat you this way.

I too contracted this from my (now ex) boyfriend who knew he had it but didn’t tell me. It really is the worst. 

I hope you find this site useful and it reminds you that sometimes this can feel like the loneliest thing ever, but actually there are so many of us in the same boat, 

Keep your chin up. x

Thank you for the kind words. I am trying to stay strong.

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It’s best to just forget her. Sounds like a very insensitive woman to me, what a shame! 

Don’t associate the virus with her in your mind, otherwise you will feel like you carry her and her actions with you. The virus is just a virus. You are stronger than it. 

I got it from a terrible older dude who convinced me to “give him a chance”, I thought he was mature etc. but turned out he’s had the virus for ca. 30 years and just went around destroying women’s health because of “having used the last condom already”... No idea if he knew it was a contangious thing. Maybe he was ignorant. Maybe he wanted to keep someone captive by taking away her possibilities of dating without having to worry about disclosure. I was so preoccupied with hating him that it brought on stress and outbreaks. I felt like I was cursed by him, whenever I thought about him I would get itchy and sore. 

Thank God I don’t care anymore. Karma will get him. I will restore my health, but he will still be an asshole... There’s no pill against being a terrible person... 

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Yes I’m from North America.. weird how laws can differ in different areas. Sadly he is in denial, and will probably not let the next woman know. We get judged because we know, while so many go along in denial never disclose.. some don’t even know their status. 

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41 minutes ago, nik77 said:

Yes I’m from North America.. weird how laws can differ in different areas. Sadly he is in denial, and will probably not let the next woman know. We get judged because we know, while so many go along in denial never disclose.. some don’t even know their status. 

How have you decided to cope with it and move on? Did you ever consider legal action or confronting him?

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