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Jules1967

Accepted Then Rejected

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So I’ve been HSV2 positive for 26 years. I got it from my husband who passed away 3 years ago and am just now trying to find my way into this whole dating scene ...ugh. It’s hard enough to date at 51 years old but with the ol virus thing makes it just that much harder.  Well I met this wonderful guy and the connection was instant (he is widowed as well so we really bonded in that area) however the feeling of being rejected was in the back of my head. We went out on three dates three nights in a row (at his request) so after the third date I had to do the ol texting disclosure (I know, chicken of me).  He responded nicely and then still wanted to continue seeing me. He said he did research and we just need to be careful. Wow, how awesome is this I thought.  He continued to call me and we went out daily and he spent the night several times and I did as well at his place.  2 months later, he drops a bombshell on me and says “this just hit me in the face. I know it sounds shallow but I don’t think I can continue this after you told me you were having an episode”. I was very upfront. I don’t get many OB, maybe one a year and it’s nothing. I get one little sore on my ass cheek and when I told him at that time what was going on he said “we both knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, so what’s wrong”. I think I could’ve handled the rejection easier if he would’ve said he couldn’t see me right off the bat rather that string me along. Anyways, after that rejection, I have major trust issues as far as a man accepting this.  

Has anybody else out there dealt with acception then rejection?  

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I am just dealing with this right now. It hurts so much and makes me feel so worthless. And I dread having to have the talk with anyone else ever again. I really do feel like my life is over sometimes

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I hear ya. I’m 51 and trying to start a whole new life and after my first rejection, I feel the same way on some days. Other days I just feel like “screw it, this is me and herpes hasn’t changed who I am, so if they have an issue, they are shallow and are only out for sex and nothing more meaningful “. I do have constant battles in my head but I can’t let the negativity win. 

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Never acceptance then rejection, just rejection. It amazes me how uniformed people are on herpese. 

Ultimately it gets so old having to disclose. 

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  • @Jules1967 Do you find it hard to get back out there and date? I'm recently diagnosed 25F and I don't even want to bother thinking about dating anymore. (Which sucks cause I've always dreamed of being a wife and mother one day) How many times have you had to disclose? What do you say in your text?

You're very courageous!. 

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Not sure if it helps or not... I met someone who is hsv2 positive. She told me after 3 weeks and my response was I don't want that to define or relationship.  6 months and going well.  When you find the right person it works out 

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