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Can’t be bothered anymore

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I’ve had back to back outbreaks for the past year and a half with two week breaks in between everytime. I’ve lost hope that it’ll ever be any better. There comes a time when you have to see this condition for what it is: shit. I can’t sugar coat or silver line it anymore, this is single handedly ruining my life. My dating life has been taken from me. I used to get outbreaks twice a year and that was manageable and I could take a positive approach towards it but not I’m way beyond that point. I’m otherwise a very pretty girl and I feel like that has been taken away from me, I mean how can I expect anyone to want to sleep with me? I wouldn’t. Between outbreaks I’ve always had hope that it would get better and felt genuinely happy but they always creep back and I end up back down the rabbit hole again. I’m not living like this. I’d rather die tbh, I’ve talked about it with many people but I’ve accepted that there are no magical words that’ll change how I feel. I’ve thought about suicide many times and I think I’m ready to put myself out of my misery and leave a pretty body.

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I can relate to how you’re feeling as I’ve felt the same way. I used to get them extremely often even with intervention. Getting on the medication though (1 gram; 500 mg didn’t help) has helped a lot. Are you on them? If so, it’s just about figuring out another plan. You can’t let this thing defeat you! That’s how I’ve tried to look at it. Like I’ll be damned if I let this stupid thing ruin my life. Of course it’s easier said than done. But sometimes it’s helpful to look at it from that perspective. Have you explored other types of treatment? Lysine, oregano oil, acupuncture, etc.? Something is bound to work. Just keep trying to defeat it until you find what it is. Sending positivity your way 🌻

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Please remember that many of us know exactly how you feel! You are not alone in how you are feeling. It's awful and really hard especially when you are constantly reminded of it with an OB which I am sure spikes your stress level and again causes another OB (vicious cycle). I would try to think about this as a way your body lets you know that something isn't right ... stress is a huge part of OBs (at least for me). I noticed if I do a light workout, eat mostly plant-based, drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep, and meditate then I tend to not have frequent OBs. I know it's hard - oh so hard to deal with this - but you are stronger than this virus and I promise with time it will get better. ❤️

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I had constant OB for 3 months until my doctor switched me to 1 gram of valtrex and that helped immensely. I know how you feel but I promise it will get better. Nothing is ruined that is just the stigma talking. You are so much more than this skin condition. Message me if you need someone to talk to ❤️ 

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