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Yea condoms should always be used! Unfortunately this stupid virus sheds and it sheds whenever it wants... due to lack of research we have no idea when we shed. I’ve had one outbreak and it’s almost been a year, but I know since I have the virus I’m still contagious. 

 

I have ave type one genital and oral so I really don’t care especially if it’s someone who has type one, but if you do not! Please be safe!

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This is not going to be popular, but:

My boyfriend and I have oral (me giving to him and him giving to me) without any type of protection (and if I'm being completely honest, we also have sex without protection often, except for when I'm in that fertile window - always protected then - don't want any more babies). I am HSV2 positive and he is negative. He knows and he does not care at all that I carry it (I have never had symptoms that I am aware of) and is not worried about whether he gets it or not. The risk is low, and he's willing to take the risk.

That said, if I didn't see serious long term/marriage potential with him, I would insist on condoms 100% of the time, but I did my part and I told him. He knows the risk and is willing to take it because he sees the same long term/marriage future.

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1 hour ago, 100918 said:

This is not going to be popular, but:

My boyfriend and I have oral (me giving to him and him giving to me) without any type of protection (and if I'm being completely honest, we also have sex without protection often, except for when I'm in that fertile window - always protected then - don't want any more babies). I am HSV2 positive and he is negative. He knows and he does not care at all that I carry it (I have never had symptoms that I am aware of) and is not worried about whether he gets it or not. The risk is low, and he's willing to take the risk.

That said, if I didn't see serious long term/marriage potential with him, I would insist on condoms 100% of the time, but I did my part and I told him. He knows the risk and is willing to take it because he sees the same long term/marriage future.

Just because you’ve never had symptoms doesn’t mean the risk is low. By now he probably has it. But if he doesn’t care than more power to the both of you. Please know though that you still shed just as much as someone who has outbreaks all the time. Just in case wish I hope you two the best of luck but if it doesn’t work out please know this so that you can be informative to your next partner and have him do extensive research! 

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So from my understanding all medicine works the same way for herpes. The reason they have several is because some of the side effects affect others more. So if valtrex ends up causing you harm, then you can switch to another one. 

 

Does your partner know? 

3 hours ago, Cia6666 said:

Thanks everyone for the advice here. I’m trying to navigate sleeping with someone who is hsv2 negative. 

 

What about valtrex does everyone out there take it who is with someone who is negative? 

 

Thanks 🙏 

 

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1 hour ago, Cia6666 said:

Hey, yes she knows that I have hsv2 and so far we have not had sex. I’m not in a big hurry to do so as I would feel terrible if she got it from me. Just trying to weigh the options. 

 

Many thanks!

Okay woman are more likely to get to STD than men due to the way woman are made. So with that being said she does have a higher chance of getting it. Also when you feel ready, I’d say with the medication as well as a condom the likely hood of you passing it there’s always a chance but a very small one.

 

with medicine it’s a 50% chance that she won’t get it add a condom I believe it gets you up to 75% chance you won’t infect her. 

 

But make sure you aren’t having an outbreak before you have sex that also lowers your chances of spread. 

This is a little personal, but from talking to people it is easier to spread through anal, so if you’re into that I wouldn’t.

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Thanks for the advice here! I feel like I’ve got some good info. Really though  I don’t know if I can bring myself to sleep with her even if the chance is 75% In favor of it not being passed..... 

That last 25% is pretty high 

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On 2/28/2019 at 2:31 AM, 100918 said:

This is not going to be popular, but:

My boyfriend and I have oral (me giving to him and him giving to me) without any type of protection (and if I'm being completely honest, we also have sex without protection often, except for when I'm in that fertile window - always protected then - don't want any more babies). I am HSV2 positive and he is negative. He knows and he does not care at all that I carry it (I have never had symptoms that I am aware of) and is not worried about whether he gets it or not. The risk is low, and he's willing to take the risk.

That said, if I didn't see serious long term/marriage potential with him, I would insist on condoms 100% of the time, but I did my part and I told him. He knows the risk and is willing to take it because he sees the same long term/marriage future.

Same for me with my girlfriend

I would not say its about being popular or unpopular, its about the negative partner making the decision.

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  • 4 weeks later...
1 hour ago, Irishgirl said:

Let it be know that you only have a 10% overall chance of spreading hsv 2 to a women- with medication it brings it down to 5% & with a condom 2.5%.  For women to men it is even lower

Can you please show me where you found this info? My boyfriend has HSV1 and HSV2 and he is under the impression condoms and medicine doesn’t offer any protection so abstinence is the only option. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 2/28/2019 at 5:39 PM, Notgoingthere said:

Okay woman are more likely to get to STD than men due to the way woman are made. So with that being said she does have a higher chance of getting it. Also when you feel ready, I’d say with the medication as well as a condom the likely hood of you passing it there’s always a chance but a very small one.

 

with medicine it’s a 50% chance that she won’t get it add a condom I believe it gets you up to 75% chance you won’t infect her. 

 

But make sure you aren’t having an outbreak before you have sex that also lowers your chances of spread. 

This is a little personal, but from talking to people it is easier to spread through anal, so if you’re into that I wouldn’t.

Im not sure if I’m misunderstanding the wording of your text, @Notgoingthere but male-to-female transmission is almost NEVER as high as 25%, let alone 50% unless during an active outbreak. You really should avoid sex during an outbreak because a condom will not be likely to significantly lower chances of transmission during an outbreak anyway... 

male-to-female transmission is generally 10% risk, assuming no condom, no antivirals and no outbreak. You can lower this 10% by using antivirals and/or condoms. Theoretically, you can get male-to-female transmission as low as 1.4% but we’re also talking about human bodies, which are ridiculously variable! So a more accurate figure would be a range, depending on your own preferences and those of your partner. 

You can get hsv2 from oral sex. I don’t know the stats on that, I just know it’s rare. Like really rare. Hsv1 May or May not have preventative properties against contractive hsv2. Cool stuff, seeing as though nearly half the human population already has hsv1. 

From personal experience: 3 year relationship, female (hsv2, genital) and male (hsv negative) we don’t use any protection and do literally everything under the moon in terms of intimacy. I do take daily antivirals, and avoid any form of touching/intercourse when having an outbreak. 

Hope this helps, good luck!

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 5/17/2019 at 9:28 AM, Ohsoscared said:

Are you on medication? Use condoms? 

I'm not the person you posted this to (regarding having lots of oral sex and everything is fine), but I can answer for the experience of me and my boyfriend. 

We also have a lot of oral sex and everything has been just fine for us as well. It's been just over 3 months that we've been sleeping together. I am positive for HSV2, he is negative. He is still negative.

I do not take any meds and we do not use condoms at all anymore (I cannot get pregnant) - never used condoms for oral.
 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 4/26/2019 at 4:32 AM, gracie said:

Im not sure if I’m misunderstanding the wording of your text, @Notgoingthere but male-to-female transmission is almost NEVER as high as 25%, let alone 50% unless during an active outbreak. You really should avoid sex during an outbreak because a condom will not be likely to significantly lower chances of transmission during an outbreak anyway... 

male-to-female transmission is generally 10% risk, assuming no condom, no antivirals and no outbreak. You can lower this 10% by using antivirals and/or condoms. Theoretically, you can get male-to-female transmission as low as 1.4% but we’re also talking about human bodies, which are ridiculously variable! So a more accurate figure would be a range, depending on your own preferences and those of your partner. 

You can get hsv2 from oral sex. I don’t know the stats on that, I just know it’s rare. Like really rare. Hsv1 May or May not have preventative properties against contractive hsv2. Cool stuff, seeing as though nearly half the human population already has hsv1. 

From personal experience: 3 year relationship, female (hsv2, genital) and male (hsv negative) we don’t use any protection and do literally everything under the moon in terms of intimacy. I do take daily antivirals, and avoid any form of touching/intercourse when having an outbreak. 

Hope this helps, good luck!

I’m throwing this out there due to my experience. The person who gave me herpes is a male who still believes he doesn’t have it due to men not having OB as much as women do. He did not have an outbreak and I still got HSV-1 genitally which isn’t commonly found genitally. As far as my statistics I got them off of paperwork my doctor gave me as well as a credible source on the internet 

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5 minutes ago, Notgoingthere said:

I’m throwing this out there due to my experience. The person who gave me herpes is a male who still believes he doesn’t have it due to men not having OB as much as women do. He did not have an outbreak and I still got HSV-1 genitally which isn’t commonly found genitally. As far as my statistics I got them off of paperwork my doctor gave me as well as a credible source on the internet 

The question in this thread is about HSV-2 and oral sex. HSV-1 behaves differently.

Transmission of HSV-1 from oral sex is very common. 

Transmission of HSV-2 from oral sex - especially from someone infected genitally to someone uninfected orally, is exceedingly rare. 

Also, the stats you quoted earlier are not accurate. Earlier in this thread, you state:

Quote

with medicine it’s a 50% chance that she won’t get it add a condom I believe it gets you up to 75% chance you won’t infect her.

This is not accurate. It is possible that you misunderstood the information on the internet and provided by your doctor.

The risk of transmission in one year from male to female is 10% under conditions where no condoms and no medication are used, a couple has sex on average 2x/week, and they refrain from sex during outbreaks.

This risk is reduced by 50% with medication and reduced by an additional 50% (so a total 75% reduction in risk) with condoms. This means that the overall risk of transmission with medication and condoms from an infected male to an uninfected female is about 2.5%, not 25%.

Also, these statistics are for sexual intercourse, not for oral sex. 

HSV-2 does not typically infect the oral cavity. There is always a risk, but it is very low. 

I have been with my husband for 5 years and we have never used protection for oral sex. I have HSV-2 and he does not. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am really interested if anyone knows of anyone who has been infected with herpes 2 from oral sex.  I am dating and recently found out that I have herpes 2.  He did not leave me, thought he would from his initial reaction, but it did take  him a long time to want to have sex with me again, which does not include oral sex.  I have told him that the risk is very low, but his doctor told him that oral sex is risky and most things you read on the internet tells you that you can get herpes 2 from oral sex.  FYI we always use condoms and I am now taking medication.  I really like oral sex, so I am pretty close to just saying, forget about it, and leaving him, sex does not feel spontaneous and fun anymore.  Shame I really like him, but I think by nature he is a very cautious person. 🙄

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2 hours ago, newbieddd said:

I am really interested if anyone knows of anyone who has been infected with herpes 2 from oral sex.  I am dating and recently found out that I have herpes 2.  He did not leave me, thought he would from his initial reaction, but it did take  him a long time to want to have sex with me again, which does not include oral sex.  I have told him that the risk is very low, but his doctor told him that oral sex is risky and most things you read on the internet tells you that you can get herpes 2 from oral sex.  FYI we always use condoms and I am now taking medication.  I really like oral sex, so I am pretty close to just saying, forget about it, and leaving him, sex does not feel spontaneous and fun anymore.  Shame I really like him, but I think by nature he is a very cautious person. 🙄

I was infected via oral (received, I am male). Cannot be 100% sure, but is the only thing I did "unprotected" with a sex worker. Cannot exclude that I was so "weak" and girl in very shedding phase, that got infected through legs or don't know how.

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1 hour ago, MarsAttack said:

I was infected via oral (received, I am male). Cannot be 100% sure, but is the only thing I did "unprotected" with a sex worker. Cannot exclude that I was so "weak" and girl in very shedding phase, that got infected through legs or don't know how.

Do you have HSV-1 or HSV-2?

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