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Really need some help please x

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Hi all

Hope you're okay. I was diagnosed back in July after being pushed/taken advantage of after telling someone I'd been dating for a month that I wasn't ready to have sex. I got symptoms down below within a week. We argued so barely spoke after my diagnosis (as I'd been angry at him after the night we spent together and hoped never to see or think of him again)

I want to know:

-whether there is any chance that my genital hsv1 may not be from this encounter. I'm finding the depression and stigma surrounding the virus impossible enough to deal with, without feeling that it was from someone who argued with me and forced himself on me. I have a history of yeast infections and once was in inexplicable discomfort believing I had recurrent yeast infections and piles. Does any of this sound plausible? Is it ever possible to have mild initial symptoms and a more severe outbreak down the line? Or..is it possible for a severe outbreak to come out the blue?

It feels like im constantly reminded of how trusting and naive I was to date again and let a man in my life. It feels like a trauma. 

Also.. How long did it take you to heal mentally from this? I was better at the beginning but I've got worse. I think about it everyday and read about it every night. I think its safe to say I'm suffering incredible depression (never have before despite my MS) and seriously need help, support and guidance. I'm increasingly  feeling like this is too much of a burden to cope with. 


Any help you can offer me at this dark time would be truly helpful and appreciated. 



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Firstly I know how you feel. Luckily for you HSV 1 is less reccurent so you have a milder one. Please try not to panic, we have all been there and I am sure everyone on this forum knows exactly how you feel. You are not alone.

In all honesty, it has taken me about 8 months to get back to a state of normality, and I had counselling. I told nobody about it, it affected my work, my socialising, confidence, I completely withdrew from my friends and the gym, everything. I was having very vivid nightmares of men trying to abduct me and things, to the point that they got so real they were confusing and I wasn't sure if there were actually people in my house. This happened like 5 times a week and I was shattered. I looked at how I was infected in a very sinister way, as if he was out to get me, which made it harder to heal. At the end of the day, I now think of the guy that did it to me as very pathetic. This is only a skin condition and due to its nature it is very hard to tell who gave it to you. But it doesn't matter, and I remember people telling me this and I sat there raging because I was like it does matter, this person ruined my life and gets away with it. But it doesn't, and you only understand that when you aren't in shock anymore and take a step back. Because it doesn't change anything. 

The only issue with this is having to tell people, it's scary yes and it takes a hell of a lot of courage. Just be strong, distract yourself, you do not have to date right now so you do not have to tell anybody right now. Find a boxset, go to the gym, be brave, call a helpline and speak to experts, if you need counselling find a counsellor, take control of your next steps. You will be ok because I was you a few months ago, whereas now I am happier than before I even had it! 

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Yea it took me about 8-9 months to get better mentally. I only recently told my parents like last week and I realized I should have just told the people I love immediately . You might even find out someone has it that you never expected .  

I felt like you did though. Depressed as shit, thinking about nothing else but the fact that my life is over and I should strap a can of disinfectant spray to my ass so I can sanitize my trail and not give it to anyone else. The earlier you can stop being your own enemy and just accept it for what it is, the sooner you can actually crack that smile you thought you never would again. 

Get a good diet going, do things that make you happy, find new things that make you happier, live the life you thought you completely wasted and you'll see. Dont let a little bit of herpes ruin a perfectly good life you can still have . I never thought I would be typing things like this considering how much I hated myself for what went down . Then I realized I can still have kids, a lover, any job I want , and I got over the fact that I prob shouldnt eat a whole 5 dollar bag of doritos in one sitting . Take your time to heal but dont delay it. cry it out, educate yourself on the topic a bit more, learn some more stuffs bout your body and before you know it BOOM... youre back and ready to kick some ASS

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