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I just found out I’ve got genital H and now I’m scared to tell my bf


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I found out a couple hours ago that I have herpes. From what I understand, it’s pretty damn common, far more common that I knew, and that brings me a lot of comfort actually. However... I’m seeing my boyfriend tonight and will need to tell him. He knows I have a “UTI” which is what I thought it was... so... he will want to know how I’m feeling... besides that, I do have to tell him. I’m just super scared he’s going to blow up or be cruel and I’ll be too emotional/vulnerable to protect myself.

I’ve read recommendations on how to say it - be upfront, don’t phrase it as negative, have information to share if hey have questions, etc. But I’m feeling like that’s easier said than done.

I’m really bad generally about communicating about sex/relationship desires. 

Does anyone have any opener tips? Or conversational tips? I see a lot of “let it come up naturally in conversation” but wtf that ain’t a natural thing for me and I’ve got a lot of anxiety. I’m fairly certain my opening opportunity will be him saying “so how are you doing, or, are you feeling any better” asking under the assumption I have a UTI. Soooooooo how should I ... sigh.

I’d also just love some general words of encouragement/connection to ppl who have herpes. 

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I got it in November and I found out after having sex with a new guy for the first time. We’d been talking for a few months before I thought he gave it to me something I wasn’t quite sure what but I knew something was wrong well needless to say it was Herpes and I just was honest that I didn’t know who gave it to me. Or had prior knowledge until I had the outbreak. And now we’re in a relationship and he’s supportive he educated himself and me on the whole thing. And he doesn’t have it just me. But I just keep him aware for when I feel like I’m having a outbreak or something I’ve had the first big one a second and now a third I just learned that I’ll probably have a reoccurrence every period I get 🤦🏽‍♀️ But just be honest that’ll get you far and if not someone better will understand. Maybe try to educate him when you tell him 

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My bf and I had sex 2 Sundays ago.  I noticed what felt like a tear near the opening of my vagina the next day.  I used my cell to make a video of it to make sure it wasn't a bump and saw that it was in fact a tear.  I of course use panty liners and I used tucks and vaseline to keep it from stinging so much.  Three days afterwards I had a small bump appear not even that close to my genital area.  I assumed it was an ingrown hair bump after having had shaved.  Anyway, I called my gyno so the tear can be checked out. Wanted to be sure I wouldn't need stitches.  My doc confirmed it was just a tear and then I told her about the bump and how it just appeared and is a little sore and itchy.  She swabbed it.  That was Monday of this week.  Wednesday I got the dreaded call that it was positive for hsv2.  I immediately went to get a blood test after that phone call.  The next day it showed I was negative for both hsv2 and hsv1.  I have been giving my bf the side eye.  I am trying to figure out how to tell him so he could get this blood test done.  I will go in four weeks to get another blood test because that one showed I haven't built up antibodies to it yet.  Which means it is fairly new.  I'm going through the five stages of grief alone. I don't even want to tell a friend.  My plan is to drag him to a doctor and have him tested to see his results and go from there.  Ugh my life right now.

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I’d say make him go for sure just to see and idk if my current bf gave it to me or not. He said he doesn’t have it he showed me paperwork but even if he didn’t give it to me. It’s too late to point any fingers I already have it. And only him and one of my close friends knows I have it and I honestly probably won’t tell anybody else unless I get a new bf 

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