Im a male with ghsv2 but my partner isnt and we want to have a baby

[misterx]

Hi guys, I just found out about this forum after being diagnosed with ghsv2 with PCR about 2 weeks ago.. I have been and still am feeling feverish, ill, tired, sore throaty and nauseous. It was due to a mistake in the past and I suspect it was an oral sex that I received the herpes while what I thought was we were going through break up... 

I just wanted to think about the future with the girl I married with 2 weeks ago ( I have been on and off going out for 9 years). We would like to have a baby but it seems almost impossible to do so without infecting my wife.. I began to change my diet.. taking lots of supplements for immune functions and thinking of even going on to suppressive therapy.. and eventually do artificial insemination with sperm washing as some research has shown hsv2 may be present in semen.. 

Has anyone had this problem before? or if anyone is knowledgeable enough, how should we go on to start a family..? we are both turning 32 years old this year.. and I do not think we can get past these hard times without having a baby and find happiness there...

It has been suicidal and struggling for us past few weeks.. And I really do hope gene editing therapy could find us a cure soon but until then.. I guess we have to just accept things as it is if we do not want to die yet..

Thanks guys

 

[hope27]

Hi did you find any answer to these questions you had? If yes please do share

[misterx]

not yet..

[Anonymous88]

I think you are best talking to a professional about this like a health care advisor/doctor and they could give you some really helpful advice regarding this but the answer is of course you can still have a baby if you have the herpes virus but you need to discuss this with a medical professional. Best of luck!

[hope27]

Artificial insemination or ivf can be an option, but then the risk of hsv in semen is there. I spoke with an obgyn but couldn't get a definitive answer. I still feel hsv is not taken seriously by medical practitioners and for them it's just a skin issue. 

[Anonymous88]

I didn't think you could get hsv in semen as its not transferred through fluids but is a skin to skin contact that gets through the mucus membranes or any little cut in the skin.

[hope27]

I also thought so. But few researches have shown semen may also contain hsv. This virus is so so weird. Below is a link showing 27 virus that can be present in male semen. 

https://www.healio.com/infectious-disease/stds/news/online/{3529847e-e103-41c5-a8bd-7cfad478fa34}/researchers-identify-27-viruses-that-can-persist-in-semen

[mr_hopp]

My wife hasn't gotten herpes yet after 4 years of being together and we also have a 2-year-old toddler blasting around the house. As time goes on, your body will develop more and more immunity, which will naturally help in protecting your wife (it will generally take 6 months to a year for your antibodies to build up to a level that will start to keep the virus at bay). My wife and I opted for no condoms — hence the baby! — with daily suppressive therapy (Acyclovir twice a day to cut viral shedding in half), but each couple and person is different in their risk tolerance, so talk it all out, get on the same page.

For what it's worth, in my experience and for the vast majority of my clients, the bark is so much worse than the bite in how herpes is experienced in real life (vs those terrifying fantasies) and the actual impact it tends to have on most relationships is minimal. The fear and worst-case scenarios that we project onto herpes is the actual thing that can wreck relationships and our lives, not the herpes itself. Keep your head up and certainly be as careful as you can be. Take whatever precautions make both of you feel good, and be hyper-vigilant around controlling and reframing the paranoia that can run rampant in your mind. You got this. 

[Anonymous88]

@mr_hopp I am a year into having hsv2 and experienced two outbreaks and went on to suppressive therapy..If I am on suppressive therapy is my body still developing immunity and building anti bodies to fight the virus if I was to ever in the future come off daily tablets or does your body only build it and fight it quicker if you are not on daily medication?

I have got to keep remembering that my grandparents are child hood sweethearts and my nan has suffered all her life with cold sores and not once has my grandad showed any signs of it being passed on to him. 

I also confided in my friend who mentioned that her husband gets cold sores and she has even kissed him when he had sores and hasn't come down with them.

I think it's just the worry of the unknown as each person reacts differently.

[Diane]

I'm on suppressive therapy and still have had an OB for 5 weeks at this moment. Life sucks right now. Year 2, monthly outbreaks that barely heal before another starts. 😣