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Just needing to vent, I've just had a rejection and it has knocked me down. Not sure why I'm upset about it as I wasn't really sure about this guy but still thought I'd give it a go. Part of feeling so crappy is that I overlooked a few issues with him and feel now I've presented this one I've been discarded. He ended up being a smoker after putting non smoker on his profile and managed to hide it from me until our third date. I think smoking poses more risk than hsv1! He also has 2 young children, which at my age of 53 I prefer the kids to be grown and in addition he's in between jobs and lives with his mother! 

I'm just feeling not good enough and not worth a risk and just sad because I thought I'd give this guy a go despite the issues I wasn't thrilled about and he didn't think I was worth it. 

I'll probably bounce back soon but just felling low and a bit hopeless😪

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I actually think it's a good thing. He clearly is not right for you, and I'm sure he also knew that it was just a matter of time before you got sick of his shit and lying, and didn't want to take the risk of potentially contracting HSV when he knows that he doesn't stand a chance with you in the long run.

When you find the right guy, your HSV status won't matter to him because he will be intending to spend a long time (if not forever) with you, so it would be of little consequence if he did get it. The goal is to find that person that you'll be with, and then you'll never have to disclose again.

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Thank you for sharing. I have not had an opportunity yet to disclose but find hope in stories such as yours.  Your willingness to put yourself out there and your faith in others is an asset.  His inability to be honest in his profile is a sign of insecurity, and you deserve better.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

Maybe this is a really big sign that you should set your sights higher! I totally agree there are worse things to be than herpes positive.  I like older men and my parents said my love interest will be in a nursing home when I'm 60.. and muy response? There are worse things to be than old.

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I have yet to find that person. But you guy make me feel like it’s possible. I hate these herpes dating sites bc it feels as tho I’m thrown into a dating pool of the rejected and. I want to find someone the natural way like I would have but I’m so scared to just let them I’m all the way bc of this. Maybe I start out as friends/casual and if we really hit it off just say it? But for me. I never know I’m head over heels for a guy until after all of that and the intimacy, maybe I’ve been doing it wrong. Lmao. I just feel like it’s hard to find forever without being intimate and you can’t be intimate without spilling the beans?  


I want to know, for the p with success in this process, were they always ppl you would’ve gone for anyway or did you feel like you settled or downgraded??? 

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