Hey guys. Need some help!

[Sarah_99]

Hey, all. 

So recently, my partner (male) has revealed to me (female) he has genital herpes. 

I'm in love but also, very cautious & kind of frightened by it. I know it's nothing more than a skin condition - I also know there's a risk no matter what - & it doesn't change how I view him. I'm just kind of confused. 

A lot of things I've researched have been very conflicting. Some say condoms won't protect it as much or condoms + anti viral medicine will lower it drastically, but then some places say that condoms + medicine only do "so & so much" making it feel like it's inevitable to contract. 

Does anybody have any stories where one partner has it, the other doesn't, & how long has it been? & any further advice to avoid it or anything? Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm relatively new to this & I'm reading up as much as I can 

[hope27]

Anyone with a Partner who is HSV Negative?

Keeping Your Better Half HSV Negative

Above topics could be useful for you. 

 

[hope27]

longterm-relationship? where Male didn't pass HSV2 to female?

 

One more topic that has some successful stories

[blurneworder]

On 4/3/2019 at 11:31 PM, Sarah_99 said:

Hey, all. 

So recently, my partner (male) has revealed to me (female) he has genital herpes. 

I'm in love but also, very cautious & kind of frightened by it. I know it's nothing more than a skin condition - I also know there's a risk no matter what - & it doesn't change how I view him. I'm just kind of confused. 

A lot of things I've researched have been very conflicting. Some say condoms won't protect it as much or condoms + anti viral medicine will lower it drastically, but then some places say that condoms + medicine only do "so & so much" making it feel like it's inevitable to contract. 

Does anybody have any stories where one partner has it, the other doesn't, & how long has it been? & any further advice to avoid it or anything? Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm relatively new to this & I'm reading up as much as I can 

For some, this is not just a skin condition. Some people have daily pain from HSV or multiple outbreaks a month/year. Not everyone's body reacts the same to HSV.

I don't think this is worth having.

[esdbec0713]

On 4/4/2019 at 2:31 AM, Sarah_99 said:

Hey, all. 

So recently, my partner (male) has revealed to me (female) he has genital herpes. 

I'm in love but also, very cautious & kind of frightened by it. I know it's nothing more than a skin condition - I also know there's a risk no matter what - & it doesn't change how I view him. I'm just kind of confused. 

A lot of things I've researched have been very conflicting. Some say condoms won't protect it as much or condoms + anti viral medicine will lower it drastically, but then some places say that condoms + medicine only do "so & so much" making it feel like it's inevitable to contract. 

Does anybody have any stories where one partner has it, the other doesn't, & how long has it been? & any further advice to avoid it or anything? Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm relatively new to this & I'm reading up as much as I can 

Hi Sarah,

Well male (infected) to female (non-infected) is higher then if it was opposite, however, it comes down to a few factors. Use condoms, have him take his meds, and when or if he he feels a outbreak happening abstain for sex for a few days. I know this sounds crazy but stop shaving your genitals! Hair is a protective layer which acts as a natural barrier, stopping direct skin-to-skin contact. Also, when you shave you can break the skin which allows more chances for something to enter into the body.

This is the world's most common infection that has been around for centuries; Hippocrates wrote about it and the Roman Empire banned people from kissing on the lips in an attempt to stop an outbreak, however, it is highly stigmatized and wrongfully so. Some believe that herpes is inevitable, that 90% of the population over 50 has either HSV 1 or 2, that 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 6 men have genital herpes. Those numbers could be even higher but since the CDC doesn't recommend testing for it we don't know. Which I wish they did because if feel that with a larger population having it well the stigma loses its power. 

Have you been tested for HSV 1 and 2? Because you can be a carrier and just not know it. 

I've had it for 4 years now and have never passed it along to any of the dudes I've slept with. I'm a straight female and use condoms and suppressive therapy, however, I was in a long term relationship where he had unprotected sex for well over a year, I only took meds, and never passed it along to him. 

And no you don't sound ignorant at all. You sound like a person in love looking for understanding. I think it's safe to say, for all of us here, that we wish more people were like you when it comes to falling in love and having to deal with one of the world's most common viruses.