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I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t stop crying. I know hsv 2 isn’t a death sentence, but why does it feel like one? Back in 2014, I was 20, and was dating who I thought was the love of my life. After one year of dating, he told me I needed to get checked because at his physical exam, he tested positive for hsv 2. As you can imagine, I was terrified. Especially after sleeping with someone for over a year without protection. My results came back positive for both hsv 1&2. I was devastated. I got a call back from my doctor one week later and she said they misread the results and I was only positive for hsv 1. Confusing right? I made an appt to discuss it with her, and asked to retest and she told me there was no need. I took those same results to a different doctor, and that doctor told me they were in fact positive. So which is it? Obviously, I kept in my mind that my original doctor said it was negative, and stuck with that diagnosis. I continued to stay with my boyfriend and almost always used protection during sex. In Jan of 2018, we broke up. The idea of actually having hsv 2 has haunted me for years. I’ve had cold sores all my life, but that’s the only “symptom” of herpes I’ve ever had. My doctor told me there was no reason to retest unless I had a genital symptom, and to my knowledge, I never have. I get frequent cold sores, usually once a month, so my doctor gave me valtrex 500mg to take daily to help... so I’ve been taking it daily for about one year. This is when the extreme anxiety sets in. Since breaking up with my ex boyfriend, I haven’t had much sex. One time, and it was protected. However,  recently, I had unprotected sex with a new guy. Long story short, he woke up with a fever and extremely sick about two days later. Keep in mind, I was previously sick two weeks prior to sleeping with him. I had bronchitis and a sinus infection and I was given a zpak. He however, was so sick, he actually ended up going to the hospital because his fever was so high and his tonsils were so inflamed. They told him it was strep. He was sick for about two weeks... and is finally starting to feel better. He hasn’t mentioned anything in regards to feeling unwell downstairs. Now, I can’t help but have that haunting thought. Was it really strep? Would physicians in a hospital treat something without testing for it first?  If he tested positive for strep, it was just strep, right? Or do I indeed have hsv 2 and did he actually experience a primary outbreak? Would symptoms appear after the flu like symptoms go away? What is the transmission rate from a female to male, no symptoms, no condom, with daily valtrex? I am making myself sick reading all of the “what if’s” online. I obviously haven’t told him my concerns because I don’t even know what my status is. But I’m not going to lie, since I’ve been so insanely stressed, I actually don’t feel right downstairs myself bed this is the first time I can honestly say “wow, I don’t feel right.” Idk if I’m putting this in my head, or I was misinformed years ago. I have an appt with a new gyno to talk more about it. I guess what I need help with is, could it happen that quickly? This guilt is absolutely eating me alive. I don’t know what I would do if I knowingly gave him hsv. I need help. Thank you. 

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I’m not an expert but I’ve read that the western blot is the gold standard of testing for hsv 

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The mental and emotional stress is the worst part for this virus. The more we stress ourselves the more likely we may get an ob. To put your mind at rest either go for igg type specific blood work or western blot.

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Strep is a form of bacteria so if they did a swab and in fact confirmed by lab testing that it was strep (which I would hope they did) then that would have nothing to do with herpes. Testing for bacteria and viruses are totally different. 

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When you had your blood test did you ask them what your index value was? Sometimes that's how results get misinterpreted. I asked my doctor specifically for a print out of all my tests last time I went in and got checked. 

My last partner tested negative twice but he never told me what his index value was. He just happened to have a "head cold" a couple days after we had sex and then I started breaking out. So I'm fairly certain he was having an outbreak and not a cold at all. 

I've read conflicting information about transmission rates on Valtrex but I think they are fairly low. It wouldn't hurt for him to get a blood test himself. Although... in my experience they aren't that reliable.

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@tk2019 no I didn’t ask. I didn’t know that was even a thing... I’m sure if I search hard enough on here, I’d be able to find the answer to this question. But what would be considered a positive index value? When you say head cold, was that all he was experiencing? No symptoms downstairs? I just don’t know if an outbreak could just be flu like symptoms with no physical symptoms of an outbreak? Ugh. Same with my experience clearly. I’m scared to tell him. He doesn’t know. And I don’t even know about me either. So I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot if it’s nothing. Idk. Thanks for your help. 

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This is the printout I got from my doctor.

I honestly don't know what all his symptoms were because he stopped talking to me after he got a negative result on his blood test. He doesn't want to believe he has it or gave it to me. I reached out to him when I got my results back but as soon as I asked hum his index value he shut down and left my messages on read.

When I broke out I had a fever and body aches and a terrible headache along with my sores. I'm not a doctor or expert but it doesn't seem far fetched to me that someone can experience these things without the sores while shedding.

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@Tk2019 thank you for that. It’s definitely hard for me to understand, but I think I need to all to my doctor again. Ouch 😞 I can’t even imagine how that would feel... I’m so sorry. Ignorance is truly bliss, especially when it comes to this. That’s what I’m afraid of.  Idk what to do. Idk if I should tell him to get tested or leave it alone. No answer feels right and this anxiety is killing me. 

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Ignorance is definitely bliss but knowledge is power. In your case I would say try testing again. Antibodies build up over time so if it's been 4 or 5 years you would get a definite positive by now. There's no reason to freak your bf out if you don't know whether or not you have it.

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@Tk2019 yeah 😞 every time I’ve asked to be tested, they tell me it’s not advisable because I have no symptoms. Makes no sense. He’s not my boyfriend... a new guy I’ve been seeing. We slept together once, unprotected, and two days later he woke up very sick. This is why I started to worry again. I haven’t thought about it in years until this happened to him. He hasn’t mentioned anything about symptoms downstairs... so idk. 

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There's commercial labs where you can order the blood test yourself without having to have a doctor order it. LabCorp is one but I'm not sure what's in your area. Or maybe check with your local health department. It does sound like coincidence that he would wake up sick 2 days later. I didn't feel sick at all until I was in a full blown outbreak which was almost a week later.

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Hey lady I just wanted to let you know that 80% of the population has hsv 1 (cold sores/oral herpes) and the good news is his chances of having hsv1 before meeting you is high. I don’t know much about hsv2 because I have type 1 but when I found out I was pregnant and married to the same person for years already and was completely shocked and cried for days and days. It gets better I promise take the medicine they prescribe and use calmoseptine on the genital sores if you ever get any it’s the best topical thing I’ve found yet to help with the pain and the itching also when you pee (lol) stops it from stinging. Epsom salt baths help too. I really hope you feel better you’re not alone in this when I found out my husband got tested he has it too when I told my mom I found out even she had it when I had my daughter 2 of my nurses had it as well! You would literally never know and don’t be ashamed if you do have it ok it doesn’t make you a bad person or a “dirty” person

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