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unbreakable

H broke my heart but opened my mind, grateful

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Let my complain a little before I share the good change that I got from this whole issue. 

I was never a very sexually active person, I was modest and kind and emotionally sensitive, and picky about who I’m with, oh and also very young when I caught it. I, however, think sexual pleasure and physical health are important in overall mood and wellbeing. I never neglect my body. So getting ill took a toll on me and seemed unfair. 

But it helped me exercise my courage to talk and think openly about “all the good things and the bad things” in sex. (Recognize the song? lol) I was never proudish, but always looked at the emotional side of sex instead of the actual facts. I wasn’t embarrased to talk to my bestfriend about how I cried from happiness once after making love with my boyfriend. But I hardly ever talked about how my lady parts were doing. I would feel awkward about it. But after my attention had to be directed to them, and I had to describe all of the unpleasant symptoms, I found my way to openly wording sensations. I can now more accurately sense and describe pleasurable things too. Maybe one day I’ll be a pro at dirty talk, who knows? ;) To me realizing it’s okay to talk about p*ssies when it’s appropriate was revolutionary... I’ve heard guys talk about what they got more often, and I realized girls can do it too. I won’t just yell “Eat me out!” (like the female equivalent of “Suck my...”) when I’m mad at someone, duh, but I feel no unnecessary shame in sharing pleasure or getting help anymore. LOL

I just have to battle the virus so it doesn’t get in the way of my pleasure. No one wants to be touched when sore so yeah... I’m trying my best.

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