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unbreakable

Is not disclosing forgivable?

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I was depressed by my diagnosis so much that didn’t disclose to my now boyfriend. I literally couldn’t speak, it was like grief. We’ve been together for 2 years, I told him about having the virus only 6 months ago. 

He tries his best to forgive me. But I think it’s impossible. He has every reason not to trust me again. 

Am I crazy for thinking there will never be a future together? I think it’s pretty much nonsense for someone to battle their own intuition and start building a life together with a person they can’t even believe. Even if we do end up finding happiness, getting married, and building a house, there’s still a chance of yelling and arguing because of damn outbreaks in that brand new house out of the blue. We could have children even, the fact that I gave him a life altering illness will not be gone. 

I’m 23. In ca. ten years I want a family. That’s 5x the time we’ve been together, not really a lot, it passes by faster than I’d think. I really can’t get any deeper into something that leads nowhere or into unstable happiness. And I want him to live his best life before hitting 30, too. He’s the same age as me. If he can’t be happy with me and enjoy that I am his, then the right thing to do is to leave him so he can start dating again and feeling happy and confident. 

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It sounds like despite your mistake, you have a good heart and head on your shoulders. Have a talk. Make a decision. Become closer or separate. 

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11 hours ago, Redfaith417 said:

It sounds like despite your mistake, you have a good heart and head on your shoulders. Have a talk. Make a decision. Become closer or separate. 

Thank you. 🙏

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I am somewhat in the same boat as you and terrified to tell my partner. We have been together for...8 years. It’s awful. We are married. We have a son together and are currently looking for buy a home. Idk how I let this spiral for so long but now I feel like I’m in too deep and don’t know how to have the talk. I give you so much credit. The only person I’ve told is my best friend and she doesn’t think that having the virus is any reason to leave someone you love (she also has hsv1 orally so she kind of understands). Theres been so many times where I’ve tried to tell him. We’ve been through so much together and every time I try to get it out something bad is going on and i don’t want to make life worse. I did not get outbreaks for 7yrs on my medication and then all of a sudden they started coming. I changed my meds and it’s helped but each day I’m consumed with guilt. I’ve been suicidal over this because I’m so scared he’ll leave me and know that it’s terrible this secret I’ve been keeping. He’s never shown and signs or symptoms and with the medication and condom use I know his chances of getting this is low. How did you end up having the talk? I can’t handle keeping this in anymore but I’m petrified.  

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