Not sure where to go from here...

[Light that never goes out]

This morning I was diagnosed with HSV 1.

For the past week, I have had severe cold sores throughout my mouth and swelling in the lips. I went to the doctor this last Tuesday where she tested me for both HSV1 and 2.

Funnily enough whatever it is I had in my mouth (its almost gone) was not due to a herpes outbreak, but nonetheless I still did test positive for HSV1.

I've never had any symptoms before and have been previously tested with Negative results.

I am beyond devastated. Everything feels like it is crumbling before me. 

I am 27 years old and am not sure how to go on after learning this information.

I already suffer from severe depression and anxiety, I can only imagine how I will treat myself after this.

How am I to forgive myself for this? Or be able to trust anyone else to love me when I can't even love myself?

My life has been nothing but one terrible occurrence after another and I am struggling to fight for my life. For some kind of positivity.

For some kind of reassurance that I warrant a life worth living.

[Fmals]

I was recently diagnosed with ghsv2 and am having some of your same feelings 😔 

Having anxiety coupled with this virus isn’t a good mix. I’ve also always been a hypochondriac which just adds to it. 

I will say though, I think you have the better of the two strains..:I believe reoccurrence for HSV1 is much less and much harder to transmit. Hugs 

[Theysaylifegoeson]

How to go on and forgive yourself...I completely understand this and am struggling with the same issue. Herpes doesn't care how careful you've been or how promiscuous you've been. All it took was one shot and now it haunts us. In my case the guy had tested negative for swabs. Turned out he was an asymptomatic carrier, which was found in his blood after my outbreak caused him to question his own health. I thought I had done everything right and it still wasn't enough. I truly hope the day comes that we can both love ourselves and embrace our new paths. 

[100918]

I don't have anything to add regarding your post, but wanted to say that I love your screen name with the Smiths reference 🙂