didnt disclose and had sex

[hsvhelpp]

hello

so i have genital hsv2. i got it about 2.5 years ago from a guy who didnt disclose his status to me. its really affected my mental health and i have had a hard time dating since that happened.

i did have a boyfriend for almost a year afterwards. we hooked up drunk and i didnt disclose and it gave me alot of anxiety but i eventually told him and he was fine with it.

i also take 500 of valicloyvir daily.

so i started seeing this new guy and told myself i wouldnt hook up with him until i disclosed but i did when we were drunk without a condom..and then we hung out again and had sex.

i hate myself so much because im just so ashamed and embarassed and fear the rejection so bad when i really like this new guy im hanging out with but now i feel like ive betrayed his trust and have made things a million times worse. i dont know what im looking for here im just feeling really low and dont know what to do next 😞

[nobody555]

I feel like theres nothing you can do to go back, but if you really care about him you should tell him because you did put him at risk. Some people don't ever have symptoms so if for some reason you guys broke up he could keep passing it along. Its the right thing to do and you know that but that doesn't mean it's not hard.  I'm here for you!

[100918]

I agree that you need to tell him, sooner rather than later. Think back on how you felt when you were not disclosed to. Please don't do the same to him. Even though you've already had sex, there is a good chance he was not yet exposed via shedding. Please let him know so that he can make an informed choice about whether to continue the sexual relationship. 

As a side note: Please don't ever have sex with someone new without a condom, HSV or not. There is a lot of risk involved there as well. Don't hate yourself. You made a mistake. The important thing now is to own up to your mistake, let him know the facts, and then let him make his decision. He may be upset, he may say it's no big deal.

When I disclosed to my boyfriend (it was before sex, but not by much), his response was that it was nothing and he wanted to continue on. We're still together and it's still a non-issue for him. He is still negative and we no longer use condoms.

[No More Tears D]

Same. Over a month later, I’m still panicking about him. Haven’t heard from him. So hoping that’s a good sign? Praying for you.