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Marc C

How many people you've told you have herpes?

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How many people you've told you have herpes?  Do you tell it to your friends, co-workers, strangers?

For me, i've told family, and 2 friends at work.  I'm curious who you told about it

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I've told heaps of people lol. 

When I found out I told my mum and she told her best friend who revealed she had it too. I instantly felt less alone when I found that out, so I tell a lot of people (in appropriate circumstances) about it so that I can hopefully be an example to others and help them feel less alone.

I don't really care who knows either, so if it becomes a matter of gossip then I'm fine with it. People actually lose interest in gossip when the victim of it doesn't care if you're talking about them 😁

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I told my mother first, then cousin,  best friend, cousin, sister, 3 ex boyfriends lol we are still really good friends. I have two teenage daughters and I was going to tell them just to warn them and protect themselves . But they  so nosey they saw it in my phone and they knew for about a year and never said anything. But I’m not mad at them for that.  They found out on an accident and they hated the guy for it, which they are just now telling about.  It’s crazy because know one really cares but me. I treat myself like I’m a different person but they always remind me that I’m the same person. I just wish everybody was that comfortable @My_dog_is_hungry I like what you said people lose interest when the victim doesn’t care. Your so right honestly I never thought about it like that but it’s true. When you don’t care know one else seems to cares. I’m scared to tell my co workers It’s other people I want to tell but I’m nervous. A lot of people always wonder why I’m single. I want to tell them but I’m scared. Just on how they will judge me. My co workers are nurses so the reaction might be mixed. 

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At first I only told my ex boyfriend because a) I wasn't 100% sure who gave it to me and b) he kept trying to get back with me. Turned out it was a recent exposure and I hadn't been with anyone but my giver in months so I didn't tell anyone else for a while. I slowly started telling close friends just because the stress of keeping it in was eating me alive. I started having counseling sessions with my pastor of all people and that made it easier to talk about.

I haven't told my family because really... I'm not at risk for passing genital herpes to them so that's just a personal call. I don't feel like they are in the "need to know" category.

Another one of my exes recently started trying to come back into the picture so I disclosed to him as well. I kind of thought disclosing that I had herpes to my exes would be a deterrent and they would leave me alone but it didn't work 😂. On the bright side I've realized that if someone really wants you, they won't care.

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I've told 4. My sister, a longtime friend, the guy I was seeing at the time (initially rejected me, then changed his mind and I rejected him), and my current boyfriend. 

I have no intention of ever telling my mother because if I do, I may as well just put it as my Facebook status update. She's a gossip to the nth degree and will not be able to keep it to herself.

This, of course, does not count the medical professionals who know. Just my personal life.

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@Fmals Not even your family?  that must be hard for you to keep everything to yourself...  I mean i'm no expert, but i cant just keep it to myself like that i'll explode... so i had to tell my parents right away.  and couple of friends at work to see if they'll stop being my friends, but they were very understanding and still there for me.  I'm not telling you what to do okay.. im just concerned and hope you're not being hard on yourself.

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@TaintedLove the nurse at the clinic where i got diagnosed was so nice... when the actual doctor left after giving my result i stayed in the room coz i'm still in shock and my brain was going a thousand miles.  okay back to the nurse, she stayed there with me... so i had to tell her that i'm worried about transmitting it and all etc etc etc, and she did pat me on the shoulder and i was like, hey, arent you scared of being infected by me (lol -- hey i only knew about herpes 2 minutes ago at that time)  she was like, nope, i have it too -- you'll be fine.

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@100918 omg that's hilarious!  poor mom, didnt know the news coz she's a big gossiper LOL

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I have told 2 people; one being my mom and I found out SHE HAD IT TOO! it was nice being able to go through the hurt with someone else who knows how you feel. I had talked about it a lot with friends, not necessarily saying I had it but just some facts that I learned and how common it was, and friends have disclosed to me that they have it. Its very common and I feel unless you talk about it, the more in the dark you feel which is so not true! 🙂

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Too many. I was too scared, too unprepared, I told to doctors, a colleague I trust, parents, friends. If I could go back I'd keep everything for me. So if talking may initially seem to help, think that later you might regret it. Just my thought.

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@Marc C 

nope, not a single soul (except you all)...

I kind of feel like @MarsAttack . It may help me initially but idk if I want everyone knowing and keeping it in the back of their mind. Not that I’m afraid they’ll think of me differently, I just don’t know if I want them knowing. One time I told my mother I think someone put something in my drink one night while I was out with my girlfriends and now EVERYTIME I’m going somewhere/doing something I feel like she warns me/worries...I don’t want this to always be on her mind as well (sounds weird I know)

I don’t really plan on dating anytime soon but when I do I’ll obviously disclose. It’s just not on my radar right now

So, I read a lot about the virus and check in often to this forum for the support I need right now. Sigh.

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I havent told anybody... my plan is to not tell anybody, isolate myself from the world and never ever date again. 

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I was just diagnosed  last week . i told my best friend , my kids dad , my current boyfriend  who i believe gave it to me and my other closest friend . It feels better talking about it , If the small bit of relief can be considered better.

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12 hours ago, Ohsoscared said:

I havent told anybody... my plan is to not tell anybody, isolate myself from the world and never ever date again. 

Yikes! Don't waste your life, no do-overs.

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18 hours ago, Ohsoscared said:

I havent told anybody... my plan is to not tell anybody, isolate myself from the world and never ever date again. 

I agree with @My_dog_is_hungry, i dont think it's worth ruining your life just coz of some HSV.  How long since you have it?  I'm new to this myself i only got diagnosed like 3 weeks ago.

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On 5/13/2019 at 7:30 PM, Fmals said:

@Marc C 

nope, not a single soul (except you all)...

I kind of feel like @MarsAttack . It may help me initially but idk if I want everyone knowing and keeping it in the back of their mind. Not that I’m afraid they’ll think of me differently, I just don’t know if I want them knowing. One time I told my mother I think someone put something in my drink one night while I was out with my girlfriends and now EVERYTIME I’m going somewhere/doing something I feel like she warns me/worries...I don’t want this to always be on her mind as well (sounds weird I know)

I don’t really plan on dating anytime soon but when I do I’ll obviously disclose. It’s just not on my radar right now

So, I read a lot about the virus and check in often to this forum for the support I need right now. Sigh.

@Fmals I feel you where you're coming from, whatever you feel is right for you, do it.  If you find solace by not telling anyone then its good.  I just dont want you to feel trapped inside your own worries and start living a lie.  Just my opinion is that if these X people will start distancing themselves to me now that I have HSV, then I dont need these X people in my life.  I'de rather surround myself with people that actually care.

Same for me though, i dont plan on dating soon because i'm fairly new myself i only got this 3 weeks ago, but i've been joining several HSV support groups and so far its really giving me a positive outlook on this.  I even get most of my worries answered in the support groups.  I also found this website, meetup.com, its a social site where people of the same passion can meet in irl in a group setting.  I found an HSV support group from there where i live, and it's very helpful.

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9 hours ago, Wellsh*t88 said:

I was just diagnosed  last week . i told my best friend , my kids dad , my current boyfriend  who i believe gave it to me and my other closest friend . It feels better talking about it , If the small bit of relief can be considered better.

Your name reminds me of what's on my mind when my doctor told me i have HSV-1 😄

We're about the same, there are times though that i tell myself, maybe i should just keep it to a small group of people.. but at the same time i just want the world to accept me for who i really am without any pretension.

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On 5/11/2019 at 4:31 PM, nobody555 said:

I have told 2 people; one being my mom and I found out SHE HAD IT TOO! it was nice being able to go through the hurt with someone else who knows how you feel. I had talked about it a lot with friends, not necessarily saying I had it but just some facts that I learned and how common it was, and friends have disclosed to me that they have it. Its very common and I feel unless you talk about it, the more in the dark you feel which is so not true! 🙂

I'm happy for you!  That made things 10,000 times easier for you then.  For me, for some reason my family has been so clean and none of them actually have HSV.  I know they were saying 60 to 80% of world population have HSV-1 virus in their body and about 20% for HSV-2, but im not too sure if that's really true coz no one seem to admit amongst people around me, or they just dont wanna tell me 😄

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On 5/12/2019 at 2:36 AM, MarsAttack said:

Too many. I was too scared, too unprepared, I told to doctors, a colleague I trust, parents, friends. If I could go back I'd keep everything for me. So if talking may initially seem to help, think that later you might regret it. Just my thought.

We're almost the same, i just hope i dont regret my decision to share 🙂

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6 hours ago, Marc C said:

I agree with @My_dog_is_hungry, i dont think it's worth ruining your life just coz of some HSV.  How long since you have it?  I'm new to this myself i only got diagnosed like 3 weeks ago.

I just found out last week but I'm unsure how long I've had because I've never had any symptoms.  

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6 hours ago, Marc C said:

Your name reminds me of what's on my mind when my doctor told me i have HSV-1 😄

We're about the same, there are times though that i tell myself, maybe i should just keep it to a small group of people.. but at the same time i just want the world to accept me for who i really am without any pretension.

That's exactly why I picked it lol I try to hide behind humor 

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On 5/14/2019 at 11:48 PM, Marc C said:

I'm happy for you!  That made things 10,000 times easier for you then.  For me, for some reason my family has been so clean and none of them actually have HSV.  I know they were saying 60 to 80% of world population have HSV-1 virus in their body and about 20% for HSV-2, but im not too sure if that's really true coz no one seem to admit amongst people around me, or they just dont wanna tell me 😄

It may seem that way, and I felt like that too at first but eventually I started realizing so many people around me had it. Roommates, family members, boyfriends. Most commonly it was cold sores but I was very surprised some had HSV2 too. Its so common its insane so dont feel alone! Most people just dont talk about it because of our society. 

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