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How long do I wait for an answer?

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I've been talking to this guy. We are really into each other. I disclose. Immediately after disclosing he says it's no problem, we would be good. Take necessary precautions and we'd be great. Never asks me any questions or shows any form of concern or apprehension. Nothing.

A couple of days later he goes to meet with his doctor to get more information. The doctor told him it's never promised that he can be guaranteed not to contract it (of course) and that the risk increases with increased sexual activity. 

He's been completely down about it since. We continue to talk every day. About everything under the son. He feels, however, that he is "faced with a dilemma" between love and his health. He says he is falling for me and he is scared to date me because he would never want to contract it and we not work out. Leaving him with it and having to disclose to the next person. I understand that.

Here's my issue...we talk every day. About everything. He sings my praises daily. He tells me about how one-in-a-million of a woman I am. That they don't make them like me anymore and that he would hate to make the wrong decision and miss out on the best thing that's ever happened to him but that he doesn't necessarily know what decision is the wrong one. To be with me, or not to be. 

I'm growing irritable and weary. As this has been going on for over 2 weeks now. The back and forth. Not to mention him saying "if not for your situation, I know for a fact that I would have asked you to be my woman a long time ago". I'm just feeling like, if you feel so strongly, and I'm such this light in your life...why don't you take that leap? Stop telling me essentially how much I'm the woman for you and how "I've never wanted a woman so much that I was scared to date". 

He says he feels the clock is ticking on him giving me a decision. And I'm feeling like, how long am I supposed to continue to wait for him to mull over it?? I have to listen to him debate with himself every...day... How long before I say forget it and cut all ties? 

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I agree I dont feel like he should be dragging you along.... two weeks is enough time to understand if he is willing to be with you maybe you can ask him one last time because the longer you stay connected I am thinking maybe the deeper the hurt will be if he should say no eventually? Just my opinion 🙂

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Yeah...you should let this simmer and not talk for a few days. You both need time apart, especially you. The push and pull is tiring and you need a mental break. Set that boundary/timeframe (few days to a week MAX—he’s had plenty of time) and if he doesn’t make a decision, cut him loose. You don’t deserve that treatment. I hope everything works out ❤️

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I agree that you two need to have some time not talking for him to mull it over. Right now, he doesn't have to make a decision because you are still right there. Let him know that you think he needs some time to decide what he wants, and that you fully support that. And that you hope he can come to a decision soon because you deserve someone who wants you for who you are...all of you. And that you hope you're still there when he makes up his mind.

And then stop contacting him. Let him see what it would be like to NOT have you in his life. I did this with my boyfriend once, about something different, but same end result...I told him that he needed to figure out what he wanted and that I couldn't promise him I would be here waiting for him if he did decide that we were that good together. Then I told him that I truly wanted the best for him and that I wanted him to be happy.

I essentially broke up with him. That lasted 17 hours and he realized that he didn't want to lose me and contacted me. We had a good talk and we've been together since. Sometimes, when people are refusing to make a decision, you need to make it for them in order for them to wake up and realize that if they don't act, they will lose out on someone great.

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