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TaintedLove

Afraid and lonely

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I’m so afraid of being lonely the rest of my life. I’m scared I’m going to die alone. I hate myself so much for letting this happen to me I know better. I’ve been  praying and praying that things get better for me. It’s been 2 years and I still feel the pain like it was yesterday. I have good days and bad days I’m definitely having a bad one now.  I know if I had someone in my life that would accept me I wouldn’t feel as bad. This is a hurting feeling and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I know some feel like you don’t need a person to make you complete but it’s more to it. I have no sex life, no date life no nothing just work and take care the kids. I’m happy that I’m in a position that I can take care of my kids provide a nice home and nice things for us. I just want someone in my life to make feel good again. I swear 99% of the women at my job have someone in there life. I’m the 1% that don’t. 😢😢😢 I just want to be happy and love myself again 😔😔

 

 

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You will not be alone for the rest of your life. However, it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you convince yourself that you are going to be alone, you will prevent yourself from putting yourself out there and being open to a relationship.

When I was first diagnosed, I was afraid that no one would accept me. And then I had to basically slap myself and remind myself that I was the same person that I was before and that I was worthy of love. And I put myself out there. 13 days after I did that, I met an amazing man who accepted me without any reservations. We are still together and he is still amazing.

A lot of what happens in our lives is dictated by our attitudes toward what we feel should happen/what we deserve. Once you change your mindset, I think you're going to see that there are good men out there who will want to be with you, and your HSV status will be nothing to them.

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