High sex drive and single with herpes

[Kuro85]

It sucks having a high sex drive while being diagnosed with herpes...I would like a relationship but I know I'm not ready for one yet. I am a human being after all and we have our needs...just sucks that its so much harder to find someone to hook up with because of my condition and not to mention I'm not the most handsome guy in the world. Uggghhh sorry to sound like a creep but I just need to vent.

[mr_hopp]

Hey, I don't blame you! Sex is great! Quick poll: Who here DOESN'T like a little sex every now and again, raise your hand! *Crickets* ;)

 

And I know it probably SEEMS that your chances have been slimmed down because of herpes. But what if they haven't? (I love playing devil's advocate, especially with false beliefs around herpes.) All it means is that you have the extra responsibility of disclosing herpes to the people you want to have sex with. That makes you that much safer to be with than the 80% of the people who DON'T even know they have herpes (yes, 16% of Americans 14-49 have genital herpes, and 80% of them don't know it). And it makes you that much more trustworthy and honest that you disclose herpes.

 

And if it's just a quick romp in the hay you want, I'd check your motivations and reasons for wanting that. Why do you want a quick hookup without the deeper connection? Why not just masturbate? ;) The Herpes Opportunity disclosure talk has a built-in mechanism for actually taking a relationship deeper through trust, authenticity and connection. If you're truly not ready for a relationship, then you might not be ready for sex, either. Take this time to date yourself. Get reconnected with yourself before you connect sexually with someone else. A lot of the time in my experience, we try to separate sex from connection, but it's just about impossible to do.

[Kuro85]

Good point Adrial. I'll try to work on myself before looking to share who I am or my being with someone else. =)