Another outbreak :(

[greydaysandbrighternights]

I forget how many now because I try to pretend this shit isn’t happening to me. Possibly 5 or 6 in 10 months. 

*sighs* I shaved. I had sex. ( regular partner). I broke out. Like huge ob. Both labia. I obsessed for a few days about what I’ve read about recurrent ob’s are supposed to be unilateral after the primary and then I let it go, as who cares.sex is not for me anymore. I can do without the shit that comes with it. Was it the sex or was it the shave? Who cares, I’ll avoid both then thank you very much.  I have genital Herpes and that’s all that matters now. It’s over. I’m accepting of being on my own now rather than disclose this hell to anyone living. And that’s fine. I’m just fed up of it and I have a shit doctor to boot. Fab! 

[tiredandlonely]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. 

Herpes is most active in the first year, so in time, the virus should calm down and your body should learn to keep it under control. 

Do you take antivirals? If not, it is something you may want to consider. 

You will be able to shave down there and have sex again - it may just take some time. You say, "I have genital herpes and that's all that matters now." It's not! Please don't allow herpes to take over your life.

You are in a really frustrating position right now, because the virus is really impacting your quality of life and interfering with your sex life. So, I understand why it feels like it is taking over your life and it is the only thing that matters. But, once you figure out how to manage the virus and keep things under control, then it will go into the background. You won't think about it all the time and you may even get to the point where you forget you have it most of the time. The first year was the hardest for me. I'm 5 years in and I barely think about it anymore.

Also, if you have a shit doctor, please find another one. The doctor I was seeing when I found out I had herpes was pretty crappy also. She just didn't get it. I switched to the doctor I have now and she have felt much more understood and taken care of. Having someone you know you can turn to for guidance/help is really important.

[greydaysandbrighternights]

On 6/3/2019 at 4:29 PM, tiredandlonely said:

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. 

Herpes is most active in the first year, so in time, the virus should calm down and your body should learn to keep it under control. 

Do you take antivirals? If not, it is something you may want to consider. 

You will be able to shave down there and have sex again - it may just take some time. You say, "I have genital herpes and that's all that matters now." It's not! Please don't allow herpes to take over your life.

You are in a really frustrating position right now, because the virus is really impacting your quality of life and interfering with your sex life. So, I understand why it feels like it is taking over your life and it is the only thing that matters. But, once you figure out how to manage the virus and keep things under control, then it will go into the background. You won't think about it all the time and you may even get to the point where you forget you have it most of the time. The first year was the hardest for me. I'm 5 years in and I barely think about it anymore.

Also, if you have a shit doctor, please find another one. The doctor I was seeing when I found out I had herpes was pretty crappy also. She just didn't get it. I switched to the doctor I have now and she have felt much more understood and taken care of. Having someone you know you can turn to for guidance/help is really important.

Hi tiredandlonely. Thanks so much for your reassurance and kind words. It made me quite tearful. 

I don’t know what to say. I made that post when extremely down and frustrated and I almost wish I hadn’t now. I’m having ups and downs with it. 

I have taken anti virals sometimes. When I can get in to see my doctor  but they’d rather I went to a sexual health clinic for treatment and come across as though she really can’t be bothered with such trivialities. It was humiliating going to my doctors in the first place for diagnosis , I don’t think I’m ready to go and tell it all to someone else again. Part of me is curious as to how my body is managing this virus and part of me just wants it to go away. ( I know that’s impossible now). 

I know how this happened to me, that much is obvious but I can’t believe I was so ignorant and it’s causing me great anxiety in all aspects of my life. 

I thought this ob would be horrific. It seemed to be heading that way but it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated and started healing within a few days and then I felt what appeared to be the start of another outbreak less than a week later Is that even possible? Were yours that bad to begin with? 

[tiredandlonely]

It is totally normal to have ups and downs and to get extremely frustrated with this virus. Don't be too hard on yourself. 

Depending on where you live, you should be able to get daily antivirals to take as suppressive therapy, so that you don't have to go see your doctor each time you have symptoms. 

This may be helpful to you to get your symptoms under control. Even if you don't want to take antivirals daily, you should be able to get a prescription with refills on it so that you don't have to go see your doctor each time you have symptoms. 

The first doctor that I saw when I was diagnosed with herpes didn't really take what I was going through seriously. She was really nice and I also didn't want to go through the trauma and shame of telling a new doctor about my condition, so I went to her for several months, but I had symptoms almost the whole time and she was not helpful at getting them under control (she did not prescribe me antivirals). 

I didn't have back to back outbreaks like you describe, but I had what felt like nonstop symptoms. Constant burning, itching, inflammation, etc. I was tested for yeast and bacteria and everything was negative and I even had a biopsy of the area (which was insanely painful even with anesthetic). All it showed was inflammation. 

It was a mistake for me to stay with that doctor because she really didn't help me, prolonged my discomfort, and in some ways made things worse. When I finally did go to another doctor, I burst into tears in her office when I told her and she said, "okay, let's see what we can do to get you feeling better." 

She  prescribed me metronidazole because she suspected a bacterial infection that was not showing up on the tests (because they don't test for all strands of bacteria). I was better within a week or two.  The new doctor also repeated my blood tests because the old doctor took a long time to send my records. When the blood test confirmed I was HSV-2 positive, she prescribed me antivirals which helped with the prodrome-type symptoms.

I stayed on antivirals because I wanted to give myself a break from having symptoms. I think that what I experienced for the first several months was prodrome symptoms/minor outbreaks that were complicated by a coexisting bacterial infection. It was very uncomfortable and I couldn't even fathom the idea of a sex life when I was feeling that way, so it made me even more depressed because I felt like I had lost a big part of who I was. 

Whether or not you decide to go on antivirals long term is a personal choice. I personally found that it helped me process the emotional component of the diagnosis better because I was able to ease the symptoms and it helped me to feel like I was in control again. 

That might not be what you choose to do. You can certainly see how your body handles the virus, work on managing your stress, and stay as healthy as possible.

But I hope that you will still look for a doctor who will treat you seriously and with compassion. That doctor might be at a sexual health clinic (where you have no reason to be embarrassed because they see herpes all the time), or maybe another private practice. I know it takes a lot of courage to seek out another medical professional to help you and to open up and tell your story again, but once you find someone who can really help you instead of just brushing you off or making you feel trivial, I think it will help you start to feel more in control and less anxious about things.

[greydaysandbrighternights]

1 hour ago, tiredandlonely said:

It is totally normal to have ups and downs and to get extremely frustrated with this virus. Don't be too hard on yourself. 

Depending on where you live, you should be able to get daily antivirals to take as suppressive therapy, so that you don't have to go see your doctor each time you have symptoms. 

This may be helpful to you to get your symptoms under control. Even if you don't want to take antivirals daily, you should be able to get a prescription with refills on it so that you don't have to go see your doctor each time you have symptoms. 

The first doctor that I saw when I was diagnosed with herpes didn't really take what I was going through seriously. She was really nice and I also didn't want to go through the trauma and shame of telling a new doctor about my condition, so I went to her for several months, but I had symptoms almost the whole time and she was not helpful at getting them under control (she did not prescribe me antivirals). 

I didn't have back to back outbreaks like you describe, but I had what felt like nonstop symptoms. Constant burning, itching, inflammation, etc. I was tested for yeast and bacteria and everything was negative and I even had a biopsy of the area (which was insanely painful even with anesthetic). All it showed was inflammation. 

It was a mistake for me to stay with that doctor because she really didn't help me, prolonged my discomfort, and in some ways made things worse. When I finally did go to another doctor, I burst into tears in her office when I told her and she said, "okay, let's see what we can do to get you feeling better." 

She  prescribed me metronidazole because she suspected a bacterial infection that was not showing up on the tests (because they don't test for all strands of bacteria). I was better within a week or two.  The new doctor also repeated my blood tests because the old doctor took a long time to send my records. When the blood test confirmed I was HSV-2 positive, she prescribed me antivirals which helped with the prodrome-type symptoms.

I stayed on antivirals because I wanted to give myself a break from having symptoms. I think that what I experienced for the first several months was prodrome symptoms/minor outbreaks that were complicated by a coexisting bacterial infection. It was very uncomfortable and I couldn't even fathom the idea of a sex life when I was feeling that way, so it made me even more depressed because I felt like I had lost a big part of who I was. 

Whether or not you decide to go on antivirals long term is a personal choice. I personally found that it helped me process the emotional component of the diagnosis better because I was able to ease the symptoms and it helped me to feel like I was in control again. 

That might not be what you choose to do. You can certainly see how your body handles the virus, work on managing your stress, and stay as healthy as possible.

But I hope that you will still look for a doctor who will treat you seriously and with compassion. That doctor might be at a sexual health clinic (where you have no reason to be embarrassed because they see herpes all the time), or maybe another private practice. I know it takes a lot of courage to seek out another medical professional to help you and to open up and tell your story again, but once you find someone who can really help you instead of just brushing you off or making you feel trivial, I think it will help you start to feel more in control and less anxious about things.

I suspect I have BV, which I have read can worsen outbreaks (all the symptoms are there) and I said as much to my gp.  I had swabs for bacteria and yeast, results came back that no action was needed. I’m not convinced.... 

the anti virals have worked well when taken episodically, I have every faith that they would work as a suppressant  but I know that I would have to visit the sexual health clinic to access that kind of treatment ( I’m in the UK, and that seems to be how it works). I have no issue going there and have done so many times for contraception etc but bloody herpes...I’m not judgmental in the slightest and  its not something that would bother me if someone were to confide in me that they had it. It is after all, for the most part, a common, non life threatening skin condition but it carries a terrible stigma whether we like it or not. I’m a strong person but I do have a tendency to stick my head in the sand. I guess I can’t get away with that this time as i suspect this is subconsciously bothering me more than I like to admit. I have to face the guilt, Shame and regret. Not to mention the self loathing. All normal emotions I would expect but difficult nonetheless. My stress levels are off the scale. Not much can be done about that at present so you’re right. Good treatment is the answer. 

I feel I should be making the effort to be more positive as I know reading positive posts on here when I was first diagnosed was a god send. I am trying I promise. 

Again. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. It’s appreciated. 🙂