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I met someone; should I tell them I may/probably have herpes?


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Last October, I had a few hookups with a "friend" who later stated she had herpes, only to then later adamantly deny it. Long story short, I couldn't take the anxiety anymore and got an igg test back in February, which came back negative for HSV2 but positive for HSV1 (2.39). At the time, my doctor said not to worry about it as HSV1 isn't really an STD. Keep in mind, I've never had any visible outbreak, sores or anything other than what I can assume are anxiety based "symptoms" brought on by my "friend".

Was a rough couple of months, to say the least, but I'm better these days.

Anyway, I've now met someone and things are looking good. I read somewhere that an igg test below 3.5 should warrant a retest, of which the results I just got back today. I was hoping my HSV1 results would either either be negative or above the 3.5 threshold, but no such luck. Negative for HSV2, positive for HSV1 (2.11). I read igg tests are pretty reliable for HSV1, so should I just assume that I really do have herpes? 

And how am I supposed to tell her I have herpes/where if I don't even know where I have it, or really if I have it at all??? I've many questions now, and there's a definite lack of answers on the internet.

(I wish my "friend" would have never said anything, but that's another topic all together.)

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How did your 'friend' share with you that she had herpes? Did she tell you she had cold sores? Genital herpes? Did she mention if she had HSV-1 or HSV-2? Had she been tested? 

Your IgG results are low, and could be confirmed with a Western Blot. This is a pretty expensive test, and you will have to contact them for a kit and have your doctor order it for you. 

Since you don't have symptoms, I'm not sure if it's worth it to you. There is no way to tell if you have it orally or genitally, and since over half the population has HSV-1 (and most don't know about it), if you are positive there's also no way to tell if this is a new infection or if you picked it up from a relative or playmate when you were a child (or from any of your past sexual/romantic partners). 

I think having an open discussion would be ideal. You could tell the girl you are dating now that you were intimate with someone who suggested she might have herpes, and it really freaked you out, so you got tested. Explain your results and what they mean, and educate her about HSV-1 if she isn't already familiar with it. If she has ever had cold sores, she also has HSV-1. 

If she is overly concerned, you may want to start with getting her tested. If she is positive for HSV-1 and has no symptoms, you are both in the same situation, and likely pose almost no risk to each other. If she is negative for HSV-1 and very worried about your status, you could consider the Western Blot.

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