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I am so thankful for this forum, as I have felt very alone and anxious after recently being diagnosed with ghsv2. Here’s a little backstory on my recent diagnoses, along with some questions. 

 

I am recently divorced and had been with my ex husband for almost 7 years. I had no symptoms or any reason to believe I had HSV of any sort. After we separated I started seeing someone new. Of course he seemed like a dream come true because he was so attentive, sweet, supportive and motivating. We originally started our sexual relationship using condoms. After being together for some time, I felt comfortable and trusted him for us to not use a condom. 

 

3 days after unprotected sex, I started experiencing what felt like a UTI/yeast infection. But then red spots started showing up and the pain became so unbearable that I could barely walk. I got the flu like symptoms with body aches, and pelvic pain. I went to my primary doctor and she did a swoon test in which cake back positive for hsv 2. I relayed this to my boyfriend at the time and he really didn’t have a reaction at all and just said we would handle this together. He never went a got tested, which lead me to believe he had known he had it already. Shortly after, he basically turned me away and stopped talking to me and started seeing someone else. A girl that looks like an innocent girl that is about to be put through the same traumatic situation that I have been put in. I have thought about reaching out to her a warning her but figured I would just be looked at like the crazy ex, and honestly I NEED to start focusing on myself more. Anyways, here are my questions. 

1. Are the swob tests pretty accurate when there are visible sores? Or should I request getting the western blot test just to be sure? I never received  the index scores that I have seen others post on this forum from different test  only received a phone call saying I was positive for HSV2  

 

2. Is it possible for me to have had HSV the entire time I was with my ex husband and not have any symptoms at all? And then have them so severe one day? 

 

I am am having a really hard time accepting that I have this. I was never one to sleep around with random people. As if being a single mom and dating wasn’t hard enough, I now have to add this to the mix.

 

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8 hours ago, DoesntDefineMe said:

I am so thankful for this forum, as I have felt very alone and anxious after recently being diagnosed with ghsv2. Here’s a little backstory on my recent diagnoses, along with some questions. 

 

I am recently divorced and had been with my ex husband for almost 7 years. I had no symptoms or any reason to believe I had HSV of any sort. After we separated I started seeing someone new. Of course he seemed like a dream come true because he was so attentive, sweet, supportive and motivating. We originally started our sexual relationship using condoms. After being together for some time, I felt comfortable and trusted him for us to not use a condom. 

 

3 days after unprotected sex, I started experiencing what felt like a UTI/yeast infection. But then red spots started showing up and the pain became so unbearable that I could barely walk. I got the flu like symptoms with body aches, and pelvic pain. I went to my primary doctor and she did a swoon test in which cake back positive for hsv 2. I relayed this to my boyfriend at the time and he really didn’t have a reaction at all and just said we would handle this together. He never went a got tested, which lead me to believe he had known he had it already. Shortly after, he basically turned me away and stopped talking to me and started seeing someone else. A girl that looks like an innocent girl that is about to be put through the same traumatic situation that I have been put in. I have thought about reaching out to her a warning her but figured I would just be looked at like the crazy ex, and honestly I NEED to start focusing on myself more. Anyways, here are my questions. 

1. Are the swob tests pretty accurate when there are visible sores? Or should I request getting the western blot test just to be sure? I never received  the index scores that I have seen others post on this forum from different test  only received a phone call saying I was positive for HSV2  

 

2. Is it possible for me to have had HSV the entire time I was with my ex husband and not have any symptoms at all? And then have them so severe one day? 

 

I am am having a really hard time accepting that I have this. I was never one to sleep around with random people. As if being a single mom and dating wasn’t hard enough, I now have to add this to the mix.

 

They say swabs are extremely reliable unless it's a lab mix up. Have you had an igG blood test to confirm the diagnoses. 12 to 16 weeks is what it takes someone to have an antibody response. 

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Swab is one of the most reliable ways to get a positive diagnosis. False negatives on a swab are not uncommon; especially if lesions are more than a few days old. However, false positives are very rare, and barring a lab mix up, you can be confident in the results.

The numbers you have seen others post on this forum are index values on the IgG test, which is a blood test that looks for a specific type of antibody to HSV-2. There are different ranges on this test, and if your result falls in a certain range, your result may be inaccurate, and confirmatory testing with Western Blot is recommended. 

But most people in such situations do not have a positive swab to confirm their diagnosis. 

I'm really sorry that you are in this situation and your recent ex-boyfriend/partner sounds like a jerk. It's possible that he had it and did not know, and is now afraid to get tested, but his behavior is somewhat suspicious to me and he does not seem trustworthy. 

It is possible that you got this from your ex-husband, or a partner before your ex-husband, but the behavior of your recent partner makes me think he may have been hiding something from you. 

I am very sorry that you are dealing with this, and know this must be confusing and traumatic time for you. I promise you that it gets better, and that you will have a fulfilling love/sex life, even with this condition. This forum is a great resource, so I hope you'll stay connected.


 

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My username is "tiredandlonely" because I joined back when I was first diagnosed and I don't know how to change it now. I'm not tired and lonely anymore. Still tired sometimes though 🙂

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I went through a very hard time when I was first DX. This forum also helped me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have issues. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's hard and I understand. Keep going and things get better with time. I feel fundamentally changed but in good ways as well as bad so it's like anything else I guess. Two sides of coin. 

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Just got recently diagnosed and soon after got dumped like yesteday trash after disclosing . it hurts but at the same time the way that person did it showed his true colors . If it would not be for herpers , I sure would invest years in the relationship wirh someone who have " no empathy ". And it end up saving me from future emotional pain and suffering . Hardship brings out true colors . At the end of a day it's about being kind 

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It’s crazy because I can go for weeks feeling good about myself, and then one day it just hits me and I start getting in my head about it. I have been working on redirecting my thoughts when I find myself thinking back about how I got it and what I went through. All I can hope is that this will only make me stronger in the end. And what signs to look out for when dealing with a narcissist. 

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