[H Buddies, unite!]

Hi

I'm 30 years old, Irish guy living in Rotterdam in the Netherlands.

Is there anyone else on here living in the Netherlands.

If so get in touch. Would be nice to message.

xoxo

[Happy I found this forum]

Hey.

First off I can tell you you are definitely not to blame whatsoever, and neither is she really by the sounds of it, but you definitely are not. The notion of blame is quite unhelpful. The only situation where it might possibly be somewhat valid is the one in which someone knows and understands they are risking passing on a virus to someone and doesn't disclose it to their partner beforehand. Even in that clear situation it may be unhelpful to think in terms of blame.

It's great you found this board so quickly. As Sarah says it's super common, and just a reality of being sexually active. This diagnosis can, for some reason, make people feel super alone and cut off. It did for me. But understand you are not and there are tons of people (like me) who understand what you're feeling. If you can control it and understand how insignificant it is in your own head, then it will change very little. That is the real battle. 

As it turns out, other people by and large don't care massively when you tell them, it turns out. The dreaded conversation is often very easy and actually brings you closer to the person. But it may, depending on your habits, require some change of approach and communication finding partners, but that is all very manageable and can be a bit of a project of self improvement.

Good luck.