ZoriahS
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Posts posted by ZoriahS
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Hm. I hadn't thought of it that way. Like I stated in the first post I disclose very early on before I get emotionally invested but after introductions and a few exchanges. It usually goes something like "There's something important you should know before we continue and it may change your mind about me. I have herpes. For some that might be a deal breaker and if it is for you there's no hard feelings."
Except there will be hard feelings on my part. But what am I going to do? Make them feel bad for not wanting to deal? And I wonder if I should delay in disclosing but I feel like I'd be hiding it.
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Oh gosh. You know Adrial, it's not the actual disclosure I have a problem with. I do it fast like ripping off a band aid. It's the fallout that I fear is just going to suck. And potentially hearing the words 'No' or 'Sorry' or 'Thats a deal breaker' over and over and over again....and keep on the process without wanting to give up and feeling good about myself still...that's the challenge I face.
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Haven't been here in awhile. Mostly because I was feeling good about myself and H and hadn't faced any downturns since first dealing with my diagnosis. Plus the two men whom I'd been seeing responded positively to me having H and it was all sunshine and roses. Now...now I've decided to focus on finding that special man to be with me long term. Starting out pretty shaky. 0/2 in the Talk. As if my ego wasnt fragile enough. I know it's going to be some time before I find someone who will look past H and see me and want me. In the meantime I've been up front with potential dates about H because I don't want to become emotionally attached and invested than have him possibly reject me. Then repeat the process.
Dude. Herpes sucks.
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It's a shame your cousin reacted the way she did. Not a great way to start out when all you're seeking is support. This site definitely helped me reshape my attitude towards H. I know it's not the end of the world. And if someone doesn't want to be in your life because of it then that's on them. You are still you. Don't let H take you down. Seek out and surround yourself with loving people who see you and only you.
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I had to tell the last person I had sex with that I have herpes. My heart was pounding but I got thru it. He was a little freaked out but he wasn't angry and he didn't run out of my life. Yay! Whew. I'm glad the first time wasn't horrible.
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That's so awesome. I find that very reassuring. I'm not quite ready to take that step. I was just diagnosed and I'd like to pass the 6 month mark to put my mind at ease. It can be scary being so upfront and honest and worried about being rejected by total strangers! So brave of you - so kudos =D>
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Ah! The man himself. Thank you so much. You've no idea how much you affected me.
The podcast was dated two years ago: "4 Things you can say to yourself to heal". Short yet sincere and heartfelt. I think everyone who has found out they have H should listen to it.
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I find out I have H a week ago today. My initial reaction : My life is over. It was not a good day. The next day, I thought I felt better about it: Ok, I have H - so be it. The next few days, I was wrong - I wasn't feeling better about it and I started to sink down into a depression very quickly. I had been doing my research, but it wasn't making me feel any better. All I could think was that I'm dirty and sullied and I'll be alone forever!
It all changed this past Sunday when I found this site. There was a link to a podcast. Around four minutes long, the speaker said aloud every single thought that I had; every emotion that was running through me. It was a revelation to hear my own thoughts and words spoken to me by someone I've never seen, never heard of before, never met. It was comforting. It was inspiring. Within those four minutes my perception was altered and my attitude followed.
It's a new day and I face it with optimism. For now, I'm no longer afraid of having H. I'm not afraid of dating and sex. I'm no longer dreading having 'the talk'. And now I've found a community that I can be a part of and reveal my fears and vent my frustration and anger; and I don't have to be worried about being judged.
It's a good day. >:D<
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Well...damn...
in The herpes talk: disclosing
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Alright Tenacious D...lol...I have to admit I go into with the expectation of being rejected. And I suppose I haven't entirely accepted this condition and embraced it fully as a part of my life and myself. I'd like to skip ahead to where my attitude has evolved into "Hey - I have herpes. Take it or leave it, I'll be ok." And KNOW I'll be ok.