[Disclosure after being intimate]

Just wanted to update this thread. I have been going to a intensive outpatient therapy and it has really helped me with a lot of stuff. There is a lot of stuff that I need to work on but man am I happy that I took this time to work on myself instead of throwing myself in another relationship. Thank you for the messages. I really appreciate it.

[Disclosure after being intimate]

Yea Im taking a break from the whole dating scene. Im completely lost right now. Im carrying so much right now. I just dont know how I can ever forgive myself for doing this.

[Disclosure after being intimate]

Im in a deep depression. Serious one. I had to take time off work because Of how horrible I feel. I was dating this amazing guy and we ended up having sex on the first night. I know. Very stupid of me. I didnt tell him because I was so scared he wouldnt talk to me anymore. Well we had sex TWO TIMES AFTER THAT.

 

TWO FUCKING TIMES. Im ready to end it all right now. Seriously.

 

I mustered up the courage and told him I have herpes. He took pretty well but I know he was disappointed. Im really going through a lot right now. I have been raped and molested so sex in my mind is how to get a guy to like you. Sex is completely screwed in my head. I feel like shit. I feel like I shouldn't exist right now. I tried texting him to see if he is ok but he isnt texting back. I want to die. I feel like I hurt him and Im so fucking sad. Im going to therapy because I have been through a lot of trauma ( I apparently have PTSD, depression and anxiety ).

 

I dont think I can ever forgive myself for this. I feel like my life is a joke and I cant handle this anymore. I really cant.