[I wish I could just date and not have sex.]

You are so kind. I will be havinng that talk next Tuesday almost certainly (circumstances will dictate it). I hope it goes well.

 

 

[Doomed to be alone?]

@SPATX919

 

I am an expat living in Hong Kong and there are 4 girls on MPWH and 6 on PS (haha)

 

I mean like that's it.

 

I think that's not going to be the way I meet anyone with HSV

 

 

 

 

[I wish I could just date and not have sex.]

I thank you for your responses and honestly I have taken heart from the stories (although still can't believe them!)

 

I am far less concerned about rejection than people finding out. I actually don't mind the rejection but I just bear the thought of people finding out.

 

@jl13 i know what you mean - I recently divorced (not because of HSV) and all my friends want to set me up. Often the people they want me to meet are really wonderful people but I can't risk it. I give them the "oh I'm just not ready"

 

Well, circumstances are going to force me to disclose in the next 3 weeks with this wonderful girl I'm seeing or so I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Casual sex and my first disclosure...]

serious questions - But how can you have a relationship if you disclose after having already had sex? I think I would be furious if someone told me AFTER having sex.

 

I mean what if you (no matter how unlikely) gave it to someone and had not told them? I mean I don't know if I can deal with that. I can deal with me having it but not with me giving it.

[International disclosure?]

wow amazing. I admit I dream about telling someone and they tell me they have the same issue

[Telling trusted friends]

I wish I could believe you :)

[I wish I could just date and not have sex.]

I know, sounds absurd but unlike a lot of people on this blog I cannot imagine a situation when someone who does not have HSV2 (like me, genital) would willingly have sex with someone who has it.

 

I have told one person and was sexually rejected, as expected. I accepted this without rancor and completely without surprise. We dated for awhile and then let it go because it was well, without future. Still "friends" but don't speak much.

 

I take antivirals and would use condoms of course but there is a nonzero chance I could infect someone and a cursory examination of the facts would confirm this by anyone so why would people risk it? I honestly think they would be crazy to have sex with me

 

I date women and inevitably have to end the relationship as it gets sexual, often they are hurt because they don't understand why I'm rejecting them.

 

The only person I could imagine disclosing to would be someone that absolutely knows no one I know. I don't believe there is much of a chance they wouldn't blab and that would essentially be the end of life I think. Am I being dramatic? Perhaps, but that's the way I feel.

 

I would really, really just like to meet people with HSV2 - then there would be no issues but is absolutely so hard to do so. None of the apps are populated. I'm currently dating a girl who is based in another country. Really like her, but she could have anyone.

 

I honestly don't want to tell her because I really enjoy her company but I know when I do it will be over. However, it's getting very awkward not having sex. I suppose I should just get it over with.

 

Honestly I'd be fine never having sex and just dating. Impossible though, it just doesn't work that way. I am depressed

 

 

[Doomed to be alone?]

I actually no longer care i have it but i wish there was a way to meet other people who do

 

Its been a year and i am just going to stop seeing anyone i dont know is infected. Any advice on finding people with the same problem