[Maybe I really did get HSV from my boyfriend...]

Hi!!!! I was diagnosed in june. Life has been great, I feel positive and I don't feel defined or shameful about having H. I'm taking great care of myself - lowering stress, vitamins, great sleep/exercise/health...you get the picture. I also started on acyclovir 1x a day for suppression.

 

I have something on my mind though....ever since I was diagnosed in June,I have had 4 outbreaks. I never experienced outbreaks before June.

 

My boyfriend of 3 years says he definitely didn't have it/pass it to me. But I'm just confused as to why I'm getting so many outbreaks NOW? It's really obvious when an outbreak is coming- I couldn't have ignored it prior dx.

 

I don't don't know what I'm looking for...I guess maybe to say, it makes me wonder if my boyfriend has been unfaithful? It's just not making sense.

 

Anyone else relate?

 

Thanks!

[New. Terrified. Afraid of losing the man I am with.]

Nope I don't think you sound wrapped up. Speaking for myself the biggest hassle with having HSV is the emotional/social side of it. Fortunately the physical part is less overwhelming (for me anyway).

[New. Terrified. Afraid of losing the man I am with.]

I used the information sheets that Adrial just linked up. Super helpful. I also went to a friends house and sort of practiced my talk with her. It helped me remove the negative emotion, so when I approached my boyfriend later that evening, I didn't feel as much burden.

[New. Terrified. Afraid of losing the man I am with.]

I totally relate to you! Yes, for me it was just the emotional aspect. confronting the possibility of my love telling me he wouldn't be able to handle it, and potential loves in the future not pursuing a relationship because of it. Ugh! You really do learn a lot about yourself and other people when you have to tell a truth that could make someone feel differently about you. I was fortunate that my boyfriend loves me the same and we've been able to joke about it a few times. I really do think my delivery helped him stay calm and matter of fact. I took the emotion out of it. I had some stats ready to share (not too much, just what he'd probably ask me about). It went very well and I kept my composure and felt sure of myself. NOT easy!!! Anyway it did make both of us feel better learning about transference rates and also the fact we've had unprotected sex for 3 yrs and he's never had any sign of a problem.

 

Sorry, I went on and on :) you're not alone and there's probably not an emotion you're feeling that we haven't all felt!!

[New. Terrified. Afraid of losing the man I am with.]

I totally understand where you're coming from. Three weeks ago I found out and had to tell my long term boyfriend about my diagnosis. It was HARD I won't lie. But I respect him and it was important to me to be completely truthful. It was also important to me to not feel shame or bad about it. By not telling your partner, you're giving into the fear of the stereotype. Don't be ashamed or feel dirty or less of a woman than before you found out. You're still the same person. My advice is to browse through threads here and read about other people's disclosures. It gave me courage to do it and do it with dignity and grace.

[having a herpes outbreak..still not used to it]

((Hugs))!!

[Question about herpes medication]

My dr prescribed me 400 mg/1x a day of Acyclovir for preventative, and double that for when I'm feeling an outbreak coming. I so take 1,000mg Lysine daily. My dr felt both of these would be helpful in my treatment plan and both are quite affordable.

[L-lysine... Should I take it to help prevent herpes outbreaks ?]

1,000mg I believe. I take one tablet a day :)

[Beautiful vulnerability]

Thanks for that Adrial! Aside from relating this to herpes, I can take this into my love life and relationships with other people that require me to be vulnerable.

[L-lysine... Should I take it to help prevent herpes outbreaks ?]

My dr highly recommended I take a dose every day, it certainly can't hurt, so why not?

[How do peanuts affect herpes outbreaks?]

Here's a great website that helps define foods that should be consumed as well as avoided, to keep HSV at bay. They discuss the arginine topic. Generally speaking, The advice is fantastic for your health with or without HSV :)

 

www.herpes-coldsores.com/diet_and_nutrition_with_herpes.htm

[Unprotected sex for 3-year relationship — did I pass herpes to him?]

Thanks Heat. I have HSV2 and he's never had any cold sores. So he'll get tested in a month or two or go in if he sees anything suspicious. I think the OB I just had was not my first one, as I can now recognize the prodome symptoms from times before. Anyway I guess time will tell! Thanks again :)

[losing it]

Play a little game with yourself - every time you have a negative thought about him, when those familiar feelings of rejection wash over you, when you see him in public...turn that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach into power. Everytime you have an emotion over this man, you give him a little bit more of your power. Now it's time to take it back! He doesn't deserve to have any piece of you. You say he knows the hold he has over you, prove to yourself that era is over. Don't give it sing more negative attention than it deserves. You do you and do it right.

Hugs!

[My double wake up call]

James, you crack me up! Thanks so much for sharing this motivational story! I was lucky to find this site before I had to have the disclosure discussion with my long te boyfriend, so I fortunately had the awareness to downplay the seriousness and stereotype of herps. It helped my confidence and it made my boyfriend feel less afraid as well. You're right - take the emotion and stigma out of !!!HERPES!!! and it suddenly becomes what it really is...a skin issue, nothing more nothing less.

 

Cheers!

[Unprotected sex for 3-year relationship — did I pass herpes to him?]

That was a great video, thank you!! Makes me want to go on a hike:)

[Unprotected sex for 3-year relationship — did I pass herpes to him?]

That all makes sense. Now that we both know, we will be aware and careful of the signs. It's difficult to transition from a carefree sexual relationship to one that is more regimented. But I've read quite a bit about people overcoming the hurdles so I'm sure we will too :)

[Unprotected sex for 3-year relationship — did I pass herpes to him?]

Thanks Adrial! I've read those, but I guess it still seemed impossible to me that he wouldn't get it with as much unprotected sex as we've had, with no knowledge of having herpes to take precaution. Good to know he may be ok.

 

We had sex last weekend when I was feeling prodome sensations (pre-diagnosis) and now I wonder how soon it would show up for him, if he got it.

 

 

[Unprotected sex for 3-year relationship — did I pass herpes to him?]

Hi everyone!

I'm one week post-diagnosis and am so glad I found this forum. I'm in my upper 30's, a mom, a professional, and a health nut. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and my sudden diagnosis came as an unsettling shock.

 

Now that I understand prodome, I know I've felt the sensations before, but last week was the first time I saw a lesion. I got tested at my annual and my dr confirmed. I told my boyfriend right away. He says he's never felt any symptoms or anything 'off'.

 

So is it possible that in our 3 years in a monogamous relationship with each other, unprotected sex, I've had it all along and just never passed it to him?? He plans on getting tested but I'm just so curious about this.

 

Thanks!!!