I WAS feeling hopeful

[maplemaple]

I was just talking to my mum earlier about how I was feeling better about my diagnosis because I (thought) I hadn’t experienced any OBs after one (or two, or three????) that wouldn’t go away. I was telling her that I was even on my last day of my period and it didn’t seem to trigger an OB and I was so happy to think that maybe, just maybe, I’d be one of those lucky people that doesn’t get many outbreaks!

 

But I guess I spoke to seen because I was feeling a little off downstairs and I looked and a cluster of tiny sores on my clitoris, arguably the most painful place to have them...

 

I just feel defeated. It feels like I have never ending symptoms and I’m hoping and praying it’s just my body adjusting. I’d give anything to be one of those people that get a breakout once and then never see one again. I don’t want to have to be on medications for the rest of my life, my liver is already damaged as it is...I don’t want this. I just want to feel normal again.

 

I was hoping to see the person I THINK I contracted it from because I really like them but now idek if I’m gonna feel like fooling around with them if this is another OB. I don’t even wanna think about the potential of me being someone who gets triggered by sex, or stress, or the sun, or my period, etc etc etc....like, what if it’s all of the above?

 

I was diagnosed with HSV1 genitally about a month ago. I’ve read online too that HSV1 tends to be the strain that appears less regularly than HSV2?? Idk at this point I just want a little bit of sun to peak through the clouds. I want my privates to feel normal again and I wanna be able to have sex whenever I want again....

 

 

[Jalove]

I am sorry you are struggling so much. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get checked..i am so scared..my husband will never understand