mlr

Hello all! First off - I would just like to say that I am so glad that this forum is out here for all of us to communicate on! It's not like you can just go talk to whoever about this when you first find out! I'm going to say right now, that I'm not knowledgable at ALL about any of this. Around July 20-22nd (not sure when) I noticed four bumps I found painful in my "downstairs" region (I don't know if this is considered an outbreak or what). I tried calling the closest Planned Parenthood to me (45 minutes away) but I couldn't get in for an appointment for an STI Screening when they were open and I wasn't at work...the bumps ended up going away...so I just figured when I went in for my birth control shot, I'd say something then. When I did my searching on google, I thought I had Syphilis (not so much now ha). Then about a two weeks ago, I thought I just had a bad acne breakout around my mouth...not on the corners of my lips or anything..but it definitely wasn't normal. So on Monday the 19th, I went in for my birth control shot and also asked for the STI Screening at Planned Parenthood. I told her my symptoms, and what I thought I had. The nurse said she had a feeling it was herpes, once I told her my symptoms (sure enough!). They took my blood, and I found out on Friday, the 23rd that I have Herpes Type 1. The downfall, is I got the call when I was around my friend, so I wasn't able really to ask questions. (Talk about great timing). I honestly wasn't shocked since the nurse had figured that's what it was. Also, I didn't really have any time to myself to react...I was around her..then immediately had to go straight to work. I've only told so far, my roommate (who is also a best friend) and my mom. I'm just scared to tell anyone because I feel like I'm going to be treated differently, like a social outcast. I don't even know what is about to happen or what is in store for me. On the 16th, coming up, I will be going in for my pap and I will ask questions then, but I figured this would help as well. I have a pretttttyyyy good feeling of who I got this "virus" from but I don't understand why I would've just now shown symptoms when we had been "together" since April of 2013. It was my ex boyfriend, and we tried to work it out again but that is just a WHOLE other different story. Not once, in our second time of "dating" did we use protection. The first time we dated, we never had before and I was completely fine after we broke up. So that is why I assume in our 9 months of not speaking to each other, he might have "picked up" something then. I'm scared shitless to tell him. I know he's not going to be mature about it at all, and probably say that... "You're the one who gave it to me" "I don't have it" "You probably got it from someone else"... You know...denial. Plus he's a manipulative person and can make anything your fault even if it's not. :/ I just want to know what's about to happen to me...what the hell is this "shedding"? If what I first found back in July was an outbreak?! Will I ever be able to have kids? And if so, how will I not infect the possible father? I'm seriously CLUELESS. So any advice, or information would be absolutely great! Plus just someone to talk to would be nice. If 1 out of 5 people have this...it just makes me wonder who else I know that has it as well. Thank you all for reading, I appreciate your time!! :) - Mandee