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Lola Meow

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Lola Meow last won the day on July 18 2018

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  1. @Donteattheworm I totally understand your perspective as well of course. Trust me I was so upset and confused with the person who I believe spread it to me. He was older in age and life experience and I was the one that asked him if he was clean and wanted to use a condom ( there was no condom available ). After my diagnosis he said he didn’t know never had symptoms etc. and I feel he should have been more aware of his own health because it’s a mature and important thing to do. However, I forgive him and talked to him with love and compassion and understanding.I still send him love and healing we are all human. And who even knows anything for sure maybe it was someone else who gave it to me...herpes is no simple thing. And no one is perfect, ya know that’s why I am on this site feeling conflicted and confused about it all. Of course it’s “responsible” to tell someone. But no situation is the exact same. In my circumstance it’s a low chance he picked up anything. One sexual encounter. I have been taking really good care of my body I spent a lot of money on herbal suppression and so many intensive supplements. I am practicing more prevention and body awareness than someone who doesn’t know they have it. But morally I feel that by telling him it would cause more confusion and who knows he could already have the antibodies. In any case I don’t want to overcomplicate things for anyone. Of course If he did end up having symptoms and reaches out I will be upfront and 100% honest and clear. As of now I feel in my heart it’s unnecessary. I have been spending lots of energy meditating / praying and sending him love and light in hope that he has not caught anything. And I have been advised by many people who relate to having herpes to not say anything in this specific circumstance.
  2. @Gypsy22Thank you for your reply I appreciate the support it means more than you know. Yes I’m shocked at myself for making the mistake but I think these mistakes do have deeper meaning that lead to beautiful lessons and understanding our own nature good and bad. No matter how icky it all feels. It’s time for some self work, forgiveness, and reflection so I can make better choices it can all be a blessing in disguise. I told a older male friend who also understands our pain..his words : “You gotta just get back on track and keep doing your best. He made the choice for unprotected sex as well. So it is not your cross to bear alone.You are young! Have fun and don't stress. Learn your lesson and forget your mistake just not the lesson.Life is too short for guilt. Just reset and do your best moving forward.” These words also were helpful for me. Let go of the mistake and remember the lesson. Thank you again for your kind and gentle response it helps so much in times of so much self shame. I agree with you. Much much love we are all in this together and we can all work through it to become stronger and more compassionate and beautiful.
  3. So I had not had sex since I found out I have HSV2 three months ago with one upsetting breakout. Since then I have been trying to focus on healing (it’s taken so much time to wrap my head around) I was finally starting to feel better. I began taking great supplements, eating healthy, doing yoga, and have been planning to do ozone treatment. I wanted to do this treatment before ANY sex again as another form of self care. I began feeling empowered with this diagnosis and excited to try the ozone and stay sex free for a while focusing on my inner work, good health, life goals, and loving my self. But then the other night I drank a bit and...I ended up having sex with this adorable guy who I have hooked up with on and off for some time. I did so without protection or telling him (no outbreak of course) he’s super cute and sweet and I like him and having sex with him but it’s nothing serious. I feel so fucking mad at myself like I almost just betrayed all my progress in a weak moment of wanting touch and sexiness with this person...cause I love sex and intimacy and spiciness it’s a part of who I am! I think I unconsciously wanted to feel normal again with him. It all happened so fast and wasn’t even that great cause I was in my head. Truley on a spiritual level I didn’t want to do that cause I knew it would hurt me and it’s not cool to put another persons health at risk. I feel like a made a big mistake and I feel so frustrated with myself that I didn’t just go home with my friends or just cuddle with him and sleep and keep it nice and simple. I’m filled with immense mind consuming worry,guilt, regret, and fear about it. Thoughts rumbling through my head. But no I don’t want to tell him cause it seems silly at the same time. It’s not a serious relationship it was only once and I am going through with the ozone treatment and won’t see him for a long while. I don’t feel like he caught it. Is that so bad? If we do have sex again it would not be for a long time if even and I would hopefully be at a different health state with my determined hope and commitment to healing..any advice ? Is it so bad if I don’t tell him?What do you think?
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