Brownly
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Posts posted by Brownly
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Ok I'm a 30F with GHSV2 for over a year now. When I first got infected I had unprotected sex. It took only a week before I had a bad OB with multiple bumps on my vaginal lips and a small paper cut near my anus. So I read that it can take anywhere to up to a few days, weeks, months, and years for an out break to occur once infected. I'm curious to know when did you experience an ob after having unprotected or protected sex with an infected person. Did it take a few days, weeks, months, or years?
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My first ob came when I was on my period and I've been ghsv2 for over a year now. I still get a OB before, during, or after my period. Periods are common triggers along with stress, diet, sex, etc.
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On 9/15/2018 at 12:01 AM, LoveTheMountains said:
Yup, passed it to one long term partner while always using condoms after about a year (no antivirals) and to another after about a year while on antivirals (he did not want to use condoms and was willing to risk it). I am really REALLY up front when I disclose that there is always the possibility the partner can get it regardless off how low the stats are. I am not a fan of using stats to convince someone the risk is low; they can still get it! With that said, my sexual relationships (which are always part of a romantic relationship for me) are only with men who care about me and like me enough to accept the risk as a reality. I also want to have great sex so being with someone who is not comfortable and needs a lot of barriers would not be an option.
How often did you and your partners have sex, was it a couple times a week, few times a month. Where you guys very sexually active? how many times in a day?
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I haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm certain I have GHSV. Is it possible to have OHSV with no symptoms or OB along with having genital OB? Can you have OB on both oral and genital areas or does the OB only happen where it started first?
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Its been a year since I got GHSV. I started talking to a guy at work. We hung out, went back to his place. Had unprotected sex, he did not disclose, he had no signs of herpes. First time we had sex I contracted genital herpes. A week later I had started my menstrual, multiple sores appeared on my vaginal outer lips first. It freaked me tf out! I was in denial. I googled for days praying it was anything but.. but I had the typical signs and symptoms that kept taking back to genital herpes. I held it in all in. Waiting to see if he would tell me he had it. So I waited few weeks after having my first OB to confront him about it. I asked him when was the last time he got checked he said it had been a very long time. I just had a full std check done 6 months prior to meeting him, everything came back negative on my end. He claimed he didn't know and gave a weak apology. I told him to go get checked. He told me his doctor told him he had a spectrum of herpes, whatever tf that means right? I believe he knew, was to embarrassed to disclose and hoped his antiviral would protect me from contracting the virus but unfortunately it was transmitted to me. We dated 8 months after being exposed to the virus. I felt no one else would want me now that I have GHSV so I decided to stay with the guy who gave it to me. We are no longer together. He is now married with a baby on the way.
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On 9/19/2018 at 2:30 PM, organicmama said:
My significant other knew he had it and did not tell me. We only had sex 3 times since getting back together. He was taking antivirals and did not have an OB. He passed it to me.
I also want to say that was very deceitful of your partner to not disclose that to you. I feel like my ex knew and was taking antivirals and passed to me the first time we had unprotected sex. Even after confronting him he acted oblivious to it. I try not to get angry thinking about it.
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19 hours ago, organicmama said:
My significant other knew he had it and did not tell me. We only had sex 3 times since getting back together. He was taking antivirals and did not have an OB. He passed it to me.
Can I ask a question. Did he use protection, condoms each time?
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2 minutes ago, LoveTheMountains said:
Yup, passed it to one long term partner while always using condoms after about a year (no antivirals) and to another after about a year while on antivirals (he did not want to use condoms and was willing to risk it). I am really REALLY up front when I disclose that there is always the possibility the partner can get it regardless off how low the stats are. I am not a fan of using stats to convince someone the risk is low; they can still get it! With that said, my sexual relationships (which are always part of a romantic relationship for me) are only with men who care about me and like me enough to accept the risk as a reality. I also want to have great sex so being with someone who is not comfortable and needs a lot of barriers would not be an option.
Thank you for your honest response.
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Yes I have milky white discharge and wondered if it was because of GHSV as well. I dont know if it's a normal discharge or not.
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8 hours ago, alllgood said:
I am planning to see him this weekend and hoping it will go the same way for me, as I too caught it on our break up. I just hate the fact that we always have to be so careful with each other, I don't want there to be unappealing or scary barriers during sex... Has sex with him changed for you?
Well I got back with my ex in February after disclosing, feeling assured we will jump back into sex as long as we are very careful and he agrees. Now here we are in September and we still haven't had actual sex although he keeps telling me he will soon, he's not scared, etc but he's been saying this since we got back together back in February! Ugh.
We bought a dildo, he doesnt finger me, we don't kiss during that time, we use condoms or dental dams during oral. I feel that this isn't satisfying or fulfilling enough for me. I don't feel connected intimately. I'm sexually frustrated and annoyed but also trying to give him time to come to grips with this new reality. I'm patiently waiting but feel it won't happen anytime soon at the rate he's moving. I hope things work out for you and him. All I can say is just be prepared for the good and the difficult times this virus brings into relationships. I'm struggling with this every day. Hopefully it starts getting better because I'm starting to loose hope.
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22 minutes ago, alllgood said:
I too want to hear about this... I'm thinking about getting back with my ex who is H- but I have not yet disclosed (not been sexual yet) and I'm not sure how he's going to take it... I feel like its a lot of pressure for people to have to use protection every time and always have the worry of catching it from a partner. It makes me helpless.
I feel like if you can give him some info on this with some stats he'd be more understanding of the situation. I feel it's all about presentation, giving both the risks and success of dealing with a H+ partner. I just got back with my ex. I caught GHSV while we was broken up. Luckily he took me back despite my situation, shows me how much he must really love me to take that risk.
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20 minutes ago, Amando said:
I hope so!
I just think kissing someone you love is essential part of affection & no one on earth would stop me doing oral!
Lol its soo essential. That I agree with completely! I love when a guy expresses his love not just verbally (hes more verbal) but also by kissing and giving oral but I'm dealing with it the best I can because of who he is as a person. It's hard though. Very.
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44 minutes ago, Amando said:
@Brownly I was not on suppressives at all.
sorry but don't want to put a dampener on things butI've got to say,
2 things stand out from what you said though, he doesn't do oral on you & he only gives you pecks when he kisses mostly.
Does this guy love you?I believe he does or at least I want to believe he does. Hes very different from other guys I've dated. Very! And honestly.. I don't know how I dealt with that type for so long. I love affection, kissing, spontaneous kind of guy and he is soo opposite from what I'm use to getting. The kissing and oral was very weird to me especially in the beginning, he said I needed to get tested first which I procrastinated a lot, went years without getting tested and felt like he should of just trusted me anyway (silly I know). So I would even joke and call him weird or question his sexuality at times but he swears he so in love with me and wants to be with me forever.. idk. We was on and off and I was the one who broke it off everytime because I needed and yearned for more than what I was getting. We got back together after I contracted H from a co worker last year. I disclosed and he said he wasn't going to let this stop us from being together forever. It made me feel like he real does love me.
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Has anyone who's been in monogamous relationships who are h+ who have or have not transmitted it to their h- partner while being VERY careful not to transmit. Like taking suppressives or not taking any, with or without condoms, only having sex when there were no signs of OB or during OB. Has anyone mot been successful in their relationship to not transmit? How many years did you date that person, are you still with that person? Have the h- taken the IgG blood tests specifically for HSV 1/2 and it came back negative each time? Are there any long term success stories for not transmitting the virus to a non carrier. How did you keep from transferring the virus? I'm a year and want to see the success and the unsuccessful results. Thanks.
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My current partner whose H- uses dental dams on me and used it before I became H+. It bothered me in the beginning but I dealt with it over time and understood his fears because I wasn't getting tested regularly and I had a care free past. He's never given me oral without it and eventually I felt he would of stopped using it down the line once after building trust. And now here we are, dental dams for life because of my carelessness with someone else. If I had a choice I wouldn't use a dental dam but I know its necessary so I except it.
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1 hour ago, 22&Depressed said:
Firstly, you can have HSV1 or HSV2 on your genitals! More and more diagnosis’ of GHSV are GHSV1 being transmitted through oral sex. The next time you have an OB, try to get it swabbed ASAP so they can determine the strain. It’ll help you with choosing what to do go forwarding in terms of managing it. I have GHSV1.
Secondly, the area where you are first infected is where the virus will stay. So if you have HSV1 or HSV2 on your genitals, oral sex is SAFE (for you to perform on another person, having someone perform it on you is another story because you have the virus down there). However, If you do have GHSV2, you could have HSV1 orally as well which would put your partner at risk. Maybe get a blood test to see where your antibodies are at.
Ok thanks, you just educated me and I appreciate the information given. I've only been dealing with this for a year. I have surfed the internet doing my own research but was still confused on certain things or just the whole understanding on how the virus works. I assumed because I have no OB around my mouth I dont have oral herpes and because I've had genital OB it was only in that area. I'm nervous and embarrassed to go get tested but after reading your response it now makes more since to me the importance although I felt my self diagnosis was enough not to get tested just to be told what I already "think" I know.
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5 hours ago, Amando said:
Hi Brownly
I have GHSV but not sure if its 1 or 2, most lightly 2
I was with a partner for 6 years, she accepted me from the start & we had unprotected sex including oral for the whole relationship.
You see originally when I first read information 8 years ago I thought I could only pass it on when I had an OB,
so we never had sex when I did.
I have an OB about once a year & there never severe, so I don't know if that means my shredding is low.
She got tested yearly & never contracted it.So yes it is possible to have a normal ex life but of course there are no guarantees.
Do you know for certain that he does not have HSV 1? because it is incredibly common as many people never have OB's
I'm certain, hes a super health freak. We've been together on and off for 9 years and everytime we had sex it was always with a condom. He doesn't do oral on me. Made me use a condom during oral on him in the beginning of dating for a few months then I had to get him to trust me to not use one because I got tired of the latex taste and it took the enjoyment of fully satisfying him for me. Eventually he did months later allow me to. He only pecks when he kisses me mostly. He has never had any stds and I've told him I've had every std that has took medication to get rid of at this point. I realized a year ago after we broke up and I met someone else briefly afterwards that my luck ran out and now I have something I cant get rid of for life. I broke it off with that guy who gave me herpes and got back with my very health conscious ex bf who I disclosed to. He excepted it but he's even more cautious now which makes me feel even worse. I'm more than certain by how he acts lol he has no health issues. He's a complete health freak. So question, were you on any suppressives during those 6 years? I haven't had that many OB and they aren't severe enough that I would need to be on any.
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On 6/18/2018 at 4:13 PM, Andy said:
Hi all,
For background: I'm a 27 y/o heterosexual male and just got my results back this morning that I'm HSV1+ in my throat/tonsils (which I'm told is pretty rare in individuals who aren't immunocompromised, but here we are). Strange location of my OB aside, as I understand it, I'm now in basically the same boat as the ~80% of Americans who have oral HSV1.
I've spent the morning reading through the forums on here and checking out the materials on disclosure and rates of shedding, etc, but I haven't come across a frank discussion of the realities of oral sex with an oral HSV1 diagnosis.
Here's basically where I'm at:
I really, really enjoy performing oral sex. To me, it's the most enjoyable part of sex, and it's the part that I'm best at. The thought of not being able to go down on my partner is extremely depressing. And until now, I never really considered using a dental dam. As far as I can tell, based on personal experience, as well as conversations with friends of all genders, and articles I've come across today, not a single person in all of human history has ever used a dental dam (obviously that's an overstatement, but you get the idea). To me, they seem awkward, bad-tasting, and as one article put it, they "massively sacrifice pleasure for safety." Another author described that "They are not fun for oral," and another said, "It felt like someone was tickling me through a grocery bag. 0/10 would not recommend."
Don't get me wrong-- if a girl ever suggested one, or even hinted that she prefer I use one, I wouldn't bat an eye, and as I see things now I feel obligated to use one moving forward, but, well, I'm not excited about it...it seems like it's going to completely ruin my favorite part of sex. I just can't imagine that 'going down' with a dental dam maintains any of the great parts of oral sex... Maybe I'm just looking for reassurance that sex isn't ruined forever. It's really bumming me out...
Oral HSV1+ people: Are you using barriers every time you have oral sex, and what's it like?
Also, do you disclose before kissing someone for the first time? (I'm aware of the "disclosure" article, but I'm looking to get your personal takes on this)
Thanks!
I have a question, do you have any OB in or on your mouth or was it just swollen glands, sore throat, tonsils, etc? Does it reoccur? The reason I ask is because there was a time my glands in my neck swelled, couldn't swallow, it was so painful and lasted a week or two i had to take 800mg of ibuprofen to get myself to eat, drink, and sleep. The infection happened right after kissing the same guy that gave me genital herpes. I never had any issues orally until he bit my bottom lip then a day later I couldn't swallow. I got tested for strep throat came back negative. But never had anymore oral issues after that. No OB or anything. Could it be that I have oral herpes although I've never had any OB or a bad reaction or infection since that time kissed?
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I've only had OB on my genital and anal region going on a year but recently for the first time I had a fever blister on my upper arm. The glands in my pit swelled, blisters formed, bursted, and now its scabbed over. My arm was sore making it difficult to sleep on it. I was in total shock thinking it couldn't possibly go anywhere else on my body besides my genitals. Now I know, no part of the body is safe.
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Ok so I have HSV2 and I believe I dont have HSV1 because I've never had a OB in or around my mouth since catching genital herpes. So if I have HSV2 does it automatically mean I have HSV1 although I have no OB or signs and symptoms that come along with having HSV1? I want to engage in oral sex with my partner or just tongue kiss him but I'm scared and so is he about transmitting it orally although I've never had OB except on my genital and anal area. So we use condoms to be safe. And we don't kiss at all smh. Has anyone gone through this with their partners?
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So my partner and I are in a monogamous relationship, he does not have HSV1 or HSV2 but I have genital herpes but I believe I don't have oral herpes only because I've had no OB or any herpes related symptoms in or around my mouth. We haven't had any sexual contact since I've disclosed to him. I'm not on any suppressants and choose not to be. He doesn't want catch it so I understand completely. I bought a sex toy he uses on me and we use condoms/dental dam when giving oral. I'm sexually frustrated and need some advice. Are there any success stories with couples that has a partner who dosent have herpes that still engages in sex without being on meds just condoms and how frequently do you have sex with your partner? Has it been successful sex life not transmitting the virus? Do you engage in oral sex without any protection although you have HSV2 and not HSV1?
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I need help! I'm a 30 yr old female newly self diagnosed HSV2 carrier. I got my first OB at 29 after having unprotected sex with co worker who had no signs or symptoms. When confronted he apologized and acted like he didn't know he was a silent carrier. I stayed with him out of shame and not wanting to disclose to future partners of my embarrassing situation. Well after getting over my initial shock of it all, we dated for 8 months and ended it. Ive been dealing with this for a year now. I've had 2 blood tests both came back negative but I'm 1000% certain, now that I've gotten past being in denial, realize I have HSV2. I've had every symptom that's commonly known such as swollen genital glands, break outs during menstrual, fever, blisters, the whole 9 yards that I've never had before in my life! I'm not on any meds and prefer not to since my OB aren't severe or so frequent. I've only had OB around my genital and anal regions. Recently I got a fever blister on my arm that totally took me by surprise.. I wash my hands more since that has happened. Well.. I disclosed to my ex who im currently back dating again after I stopped seeing the guy who gave me HSV2. Fortunately he excepted my condition and we've been together ever since. Only thing is he doesn't have HSV1 or 2 and we haven't had any sexual contact since we got back together. He doesn't want catch it so I understand completely. I bought a sex toy he uses on me and we use condoms/dental dam when giving oral. I'm sexually frustrated and need some advice. How do we engage in sex. Are there any success stories with couples that has a partner who is hsv negative that still engages in sex without being on meds, just condoms and how frequently do you have sex with your partner? Has it been successful not transmitting the virus while being in a monogamous relationship? I'm ready to engage in sex with him while being careful not to transmit without being on suppressants.
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Still with the man who accepted me!
in Herpes talk success stories
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Do yall use condoms, antiviral medications? Oh sorry I see u already answered the question lol