I was recently diagnosed with HSV2 about 6 months ago. I went through all of the emotions and quickly came to accept it.
The first gentleman that I told after receiving my diagnosis did not run away we continued to have physical contact with each other but he was never really more than just a hook up. Fast forward to about four months later and I recently started seeing somebody who I felt a strong connection with and who was calling me every single day and texting me in the morning “good morning have a wonderful day” and all of the sweet stuff. We have been on three dates but spoke every day on the phone for about a month and I really felt a strong bond and felt like he could be my person. The only thing we had done was kiss but I figured it would be responsible of me to disclose to him before clothes started to come off. I’ve read on here and other forums the best way to disclose is with confidence and to sit down with all the facts which I’ve done in the past, but this time was different.
We went out and had a really great time but ended up drinking more than we both anticipated and while making out I stopped and got really nervous and a couple tears started to fall down my face and I looked at him and said “ I have something to share with you, it’s not that big of a deal but I am asymptomatic carrier for the HSV 2 virus. about 85% of people have it don’t even know they have it it’s really not that big of a deal“ and then I kind of quickly changed the subject. He was very sweet in the moment and said “that must’ve been really hard for you to tell me and really brave so thank you” and then we went right back to making out . We spoke the next day on the phone and then two days later and we were talking about hanging out over the weekend and he said he was really busy but he’s not going anywhere which made me feel really confident because following the disclosure I was riddled with anxiety because I didn’t do it with confidence. Ever since then I have not heard from him; he stop calling me, he stoped texting but still watches all my Instagram stories. I decided to pick up the phone and called him and he picked up which was a good sign but the first words out of his mouth was how busy he’s been how busy he is. It’s pretty clear to me that I freaked him out and I just wish my delivery was better so I’m literally not sleeping because I’m riddled with guilt and anxiety for delivering the news in the way that I did. Did I just disclose too soon? Do you think if I would’ve delivered it in a different way he would’ve stayed around? I have a feeling I’m not going to hear from him so I’m not sure if I should just let it go or in a few weeks send them a text and say “I know I scared you off with the information I shared and I think I could’ve done a better job of educating you” and then send him some links and hope that he reads up for the future because the truth is one in five women have it so...
pleae help, i can’t shake the guilt and shame. I currently feel like I never ever want to date or disclose ever again.