[Shaming people who bounce after disclosure.]

10 hours ago, hazeleyes44 said:

I hate the phrase “risk your health” it sounds like you are asking someone to put themselves in a life or death situation which in this instance couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t think anyone should be shamed for not wanting to engage with a person who has hsv. I believe where the frustration comes in is that a lot of the times the people who “bounce” as you put it, do so because they are uneducated about the virus and believe the stigma. To walk away from casual sex is one thing but to walk away from a meaningful relationship that could make you happy for the rest of your life is ridiculous. 

Yes. It is putting your health at risk. Herpes is a disease. 

[Shaming people who bounce after disclosure.]

Why do so many people do this? I get the need to be accepted but it doesn't  make it right. Nobody is obligated  to risk their health for you. It doesn't make them an asshole  to decide they don't  want to risk it.

[“Just a skin condx” < NOT]

The constant minimization of herpes makes me angry.

[To criminally charge or not]

I can't believe people are sticking up for this woman. People are so desperate for herpes to be normalized that they will defend anything. it's sickening. 

[Fault and Financial Responsibility]

So you knew you had herpes and didn't  disclose? It doesn't matter if you did or didnt know you could spread herpes through oral... This is still on you...

[Those who were infected because of an irresponsible partner.]

1 hour ago, New2GH said:

@Disgusted, I hope people chime in here.  I think it is important that for those that are considering (or have already gone) the non-disclosure route to understand the effect it has on people such as yourself and many others that were not given a choice.  Seems that lately people are trying their hardest to justify not disclosing and even hoping that others will root them on.  I may or may not have been infected by someone who knew, but the more I read posts here, the more I think how likely that could be the case.  You are definitely justified and entitled to feel the way that you feel.  Hopefully someone has some good advice on how to deal 🙂.

There are actually people advocating non-disclosure? That is despicable. I feel like a lot of people have convinced themselves that herpes isn't a big deal. I see people minimizing herpes all the time  Referring to it as "just a rash"" amongst other ridiculous thing. It is as if they feel herpes is as insignificant as the common cold. I can see why some would feel it's okay to put others are risk or God forbid infect people, when they have this attitude.

[Those who were infected because of an irresponsible partner.]

I want to hear from people who were cheated on and caught it or were infected by a person who knew but didn't disclose. How do you deal? 

 

I am really struggling with the unfairness if it. The decision to put my body at risk was made for me and I am really angry. If this was of my own doing, I don't  think I would be struggling this much.

[I feel disgusting. Cheated on. Contracted herpes...]

The fact that I got this because someone I thought I was monogamous with decided to be a whore makes this 100x worse.

[I feel disgusting. Cheated on. Contracted herpes...]

It was him. I have been with him since I was 17 ( am 28 now ). I have very little sexual experience prior to him.

[Rejection]

Yeah. This is why I have no hope of ever finding anyone. 

[I feel disgusting. Cheated on. Contracted herpes...]

Most people don't want to date someone with herpes. And I don't blame them in the slightest. Why should someone put themselves at risk when there are plenty of clean people out there? I personally would not date someone with herpes if I didn't have it. This doesn't make me or anyone else a bad person. Herpes is painful, can be debilitating and yes. gross. I don't see why anyone would put themselves at risk knowingly. And who wants to have to wear condoms in a long term relationship? 

[I feel disgusting. Cheated on. Contracted herpes...]

Long story short. My long time boyfriend cheated on me and gave me herpes.  I am so angry right now. Because he stepped out I have to suffer the consequences. I have to suffer from this disgusting disease for the rest of my life. Herpes is not just a skin condition to me. Its nasty and painful. Breaking out in oozing sores that last for weeks is freaking nasty. Period. So I either have to look forward being on antivirals for the rest of my life or look forward to constant  outbreaks. F that noise. I'm not living my life like that. Did I mention that I also have a special needs son? No man  is going to want to date me with having herpes on top of that. He doesnt want me and he just made sure nobody else will, either. Don't try to convince me that's not what he did. The fact is most parents of special needs kids have a hard time dating. Go look at parent forums and you will see that most special needs moms end up alone. So I also have a life of solitude to look forward to.My life is hard  and lonely enough as it is. I'm not adding this to the mix. I refuse to live like this. 

 

 

I don't care how many people have cold sores.