LostAndTheCity

Nervous1, the one thing you want to do is be there for her. Yes, she maybe upset, numbed and confused but she is also very lonely at this time of need. I say that because unfortunately, I am her. I was with my husband for over a decade. Things got complicated after the baby and we just grew apart. We slipt, and I was living a happy single life. Going out with the girls, working hard, looking for my own apartment. I was really busy; lost in life sort of speak. Many men tried however, I wasn’t ready. I was saving myself, I was finally being selfish with myself. For the first time in a long time for me, it was all about me. Until I came across this man and I swear my whole world just stopped the moment I laid eyes on him. He wasn’t even my type. But somehow he was a manifestation of all of my fantasies. He was exactly what I had envisioned, unknowingly I spoke to my mom and my girls about him even before I met him. He gave me his number but I was still scared to let anyone in. I give a lot and i wasn’t through with finding myself. I saved his number in my planner and referred back to it every time I thought of the first time I saw him. About 3 weeks later he found me again. And I swear my heart smiled when I saw him again. It was his smile. I remembered him because of his car. He vibed off well with my son. My heart smiled for the first time in a long time. Our first outing was perfect. Nothing big just sight seeing really but i didn’t want anything from him. Just his time, he’d make me laugh the way my dad did. We had unprotected sex and I initiated it. I was longing to be held, to be touched, to feel wanted. Being in a long term relationship with my husband at a young age I inexperienced. At 28, my “dream” guy was the 5th person I’d been intimate with. Within 2 weeks of that I started to get a rash. I’ve never even had a yeast infection. So I went to the doctors and they said it was just that a yeast infection. But something didn’t seem well. About a week later the blisters appeared. My body was going through this change. I hadn’t mentioned anything to him because I felt dirty I didn’t know what was going on. I went back to the doctors and got everything tested every way possible. It was a Friday. Tuesday I received the call. I was positive for HSV2 in my genitals. I was at work and my heart stopped. I was confused, I was numbed. I went from a committed 12 yr relationship, to having herpes with whom I felt was a complete stranger. And I don’t blame him, I blame myself. I didn’t protect me. I was so caught up I put my health, and my son’s health at risk. Breaking it to him was hard. I cried and I cried. He apologized and said he’d too had gotten tested before and was negative but felt like he was the blame. Since that night he has yet to even ask me if I was ok, if I need anything. He just disappeared. His disappearing has affected me so much so that I’m on 2nd breakout from the stress. My medication was $200 unexpected so I was late on rent. And I’ve yet to get a call, a text or a knock on my door to see if I as ok. I thought about calling him, or texting it. I know he must be hurting or feeling guilty. And as the father that he is, as someone’s son, brother and an entity I care for him regardless of that he’s done. I wanted to be there for him just as much as I wanted him to be there for me. But as a man I wanted him to make that move. And he just abandoned me and I feel even worse about my whole situation in it’s entirety. Call her, take her flowers, be willing to allow this to grow now that you’ve introduced her to this situation. Who else understands what your going through?