[Mixed Signals with Rejection]

All the advice in this thread is so good! Thank you. 

[A successful first disclosure]

On 7/22/2018 at 7:43 PM, GreenFern43 said:

Hi,

I am a 21 year old female and I got diagnosed on Friday at an emergency gyn appointment because I had such a bad itch down there. He swabbed and sent it off but told me that it looks like Genital herpes. So I have spent the weekend going through my awful outbreak but thanks to finding this forum I’ve picked up on a few helpful tips. 

Like spray bottle of water to help with painful urinating and soaking in a shallow bath of salt. It hurts to lie down and sit and don’t forget walking. So I will call out of work again. But I told my older cousin the day after finding out who is in the nursing field and it was nice for her to not give me any looks! I don’t know when to tell my parents or if I will. 

I just finished telling my current partner about the diagnosis over text and he admitted it was ‘scary af’ but that he was cool with it because it is what it is. He is going to go get tested himself but I was expecting such a bad experience. And it wasn’t even a serious relationship, just an exclusive sex partner thing. So it makes me wonder why would he stick around. 

But I’m just so glad I decided to join this community to get support that i am unsure if I’ll get it with my parents or not. But has anyone else young that lives at home disclosed to their parents? How did it go for you?

@GreenFern43 what did the text say to your partner? I need some advice on disclosure to a non-bf partner. 

[How to disclose after having had sex and the issue of trust]

On 6/18/2018 at 7:01 AM, grlunicorn said:

I went through this very recently like 3 days ago. I’m a girl who slept with a guy, unprotected sex. There were no questions asked from either us; very stupid on both our parts. Everything happened so quickly leading to sex. However, after the afterglow the next day, I dropped the truth bomb. I couldn’t let that sit on my conscience because I know myself and get really bad anxiety. Our communication had all been over text so that is how I disclosed. I haven’t heard anything from him besides asking about transmission rates. I was worried about not hearing from him but now I’m at peace about it. I have made all efforts to let him know I him for if he needs to talk or more questions. I know this thread is old, but I want to get across, it’s scary to disclose after the fact but if you accidentally put someone at risk they deserve to know especially what to look out for and oddly you feel good too because now you know you did the right thing.

Thanks for this. What did you say in the text? I’m going through the same exact thing. 

[Difference between HSV- and HSV-2]

18 hours ago, sarahsfocus said:

with hsv1 you only have one or two break out a year where as with hsv2 you have more breakouts. but with your periods you tend to swell up that's about it. I can't tell you about hsv2 I don't have that.  I hope this helps Sarah.

Thank you, Sarah. 

[Difference between HSV- and HSV-2]

I was diagnosed last week. I was feeling pain with urinating and I felt sore as if I just had really dry sex so I went to the doctor and she said it was herpes. I did a blood test and it came back positive for HSV-1. What is the difference between that and HSV-2? What should I know? Thank you everyone. 

[Send me all your positive vibes!]

2 hours ago, Riseandfall said:

Any more? Really don't feel like I'm going to be able to cope with rhis right now. Just the burden of the stigma. It's too much to bear.. Would appreciate help desperately 

Riseandfall, I just was diagnosed with HSV-1 last week. At first I was in shock. I didn’t ever picture myself as someone who would would ever have an STI. I was in denial and then I was angry and then I was sad. Now I’m accepting it and learning that it doesn’t make me any less of a person. I’m still the young, vibrant, excited woman I always was. This isn’t going to define me and it won’t define you. And if you meet someone who says otherwise, cut them out and put them to the wayside.  Try doing something new, like a hobby or new social sport. Check out eventbrite for free events in your area. They have tons of art, music, food and outdoor activities. The more I focus on all the cool things I’m doing and can do with my life, the better I feel. You will get through this. We will get through this. Xx

[H Buddies, unite!]

Hi everyone, I am 29, female and live in LA. Was just diagnosed last week and still coming to terms with getting it from an ex partner. Would love a buddy to chat with. I’m very active, focused on my career while maintaining a social life. I would love to talk to those trying to navigate dating because that’s what I have the most questions about. Thank you. 

[Jeangrey]

I was diagnosed last week. I almost fainted at my doctor’s office. I kept thinking why me? I’m 29, healthy, good job, solid family. I was in denial at first. And then angry that someone gave it to me. But I realize that many people have it and just don’t know it. Being angry won’t help me. Now, I’m just taking it day by day. I wanted some advice on disclosing to the guy I recently began dating before I got this diagnosis. I can’t be sure if it was from him or my ex partner since apparently the virus can lie dormant. Either way, how have you all shared your diagnosis with a  newer partner?