I was diagnosed with GHSV1 a year and a half ago via oral sex. My boyfriend at the time knew he had it and didn't tell me. He and I broke up in March and I just recently started dating again. I met a guy about a month ago and had been talking everyday, went out on a few dates. Last night, unexpectedly things moved a little faster than I had planned for and I had to disclose to him my hsv status. I was so flustered that I wasn't able to communicate how I had planned because I was caught completely off guard. I managed to get out transmission rates and all the precautions I take (daily valtrex, lysine). He was very nice about it, asked a few questions but mainly he just felt sorry for me. He thanked me for having the courage to tell him and that he really liked me as a friend.
Today I am just feeling so ashamed, I knew this day would come and I would have to face rejection. I know there is nothing I can do about it but I feel just as bad as the day I was diagnosed. The shame, the loneliness and the fear are all back. It feels as if I'm starting this rollercoaster all over again. My question is, does this ever get easier? Does the shame ever go away? I feel like I am going to be alone forever but I don't think I can go through having to disclose again, especially if this is what it's like every time.