Dragalien

Sorry for the late reply, I didn't expect anyone to comment and have been busy getting back to school. Adrial - Thanks again, but I can't help worrying about passing it on to him. I know he wants to be with me, but that can always change and I don't want to make it difficult for him by giving him HSV-1. As for telling people, I got pretty drunk at a party and told my younger sister while bawling my eyes out. The fact that she accepted it and is ok with it blows my mind. Other than her though, I don't really plan on telling anyone else. Dancer- I do actually have one of those cards now, and it has been a lifesaver. My rx now only costs around $10 a month instead of $160. I also like the fact that I can use it for my pets and entire family too. Lost - My main pharmacy is a Walgreens, and I talked to usual techs there. Because I have insurance there, the system would automatically put it to that, sending the info to my parents.

There is no need to respond to this post, I just needed some place where I could talk/vent without worrying about the people in my life hearing who don't know. It has been a little over 3 months since my first outbreak and discovering I have genital HSV-1. I have gotten over the depression and anxiety I fell into which caused my social life and school grades to capsize. I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. Despite me testing positive and him testing negative, he still wants to be with me. Till I discovered a way to pay pay for my suppressive therapy, he was researching day and night on topics and insurance plans for me. He even talked to me about running to the courthouse and getting married so I could be on his insurance plan to pay for it. He bugs me constantly, wanting to chip in for my medication. I can't believe at times how lucky I am. I still wake up occasionally and start crying. I get moments of depression during sex when we can't do something we used to because of hsv-1. I am terrified of spreading it to him. But those moments are getting fewer and fewer in occurrence. The only people who know about this are my boyfriend, my OB/Gyn, and my pharmacist. I do not plan on telling my family or friends anytime soon. Maybe even never. I have had to pay out of pocket till I found a RX savings plan for acyclovir. I do have insurance, but am terrified of my parents finding out about the acyclovir. Both of them are seasoned RNs, and my mother has always had a habit of accusing me of being pregnant when I vomit, or of having a STI/D when used I come to her about something unusual down below. I can't imagine her reaction finding out about it. I hate keeping secrets from them, but I am not ready for them to know, specially my mother. I want to thank this forum for being here, for being a place I can talk about this to not just 3 people, and feel safe and not judged.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that! - Rocky Balboa That's my personal quote, what gets me through the rough days, and what I play now every morning since I found out. Unfortunately, you can't completely blame society for what they think. Sex ed, and sexual health education is incredibly out dated, skewed, and not taken care of that well. I remember sitting through these sessions, having questions but being afraid to ask. I remember hearing things about herpes that I now know to not be true. A massive reform needs to be done. I honestly think a OB/GYN should be teaching these sessions, rather than my gym teacher. And thanks for welcoming me to the community =)

Thanks WCSDancer <3 I just found out I have type 1, and we are waiting for my boyfriend's results. I don't feel as sick to my stomach doing research on this anymore, and the outbreak is almost gone, so things are kinda looking up =)

Thanks so much for the support guys, it really helps to have a positive support group. With my semester finals coming up, my father's cancer coming back, and now this, I am under a lot of stress and feel like life is dealing me a cruel hand. I want to get everything figured out for my future, but I think I need to stop, take a breather, and take everything step by step, as difficult as this is. I feel the need to get everything set so I can constantly think about other things than dread and wait for the full diagnosis. *hugs backs* Thanks so much for the support and love, it means a lot.

I just found out I have herpes on Wednesday. Testing is being done to figure out which strain, and my boyfriend is getting himself tested to see if he also has it. I cannot help feeling dirty and on an extreme emotional roller coaster. There are moments where I am incredibly positive, as I have been scouring your site all of thursday (and it has been so helpful!), and then I am crying my eyes out and trying to figure out what I am going to do. I suspect this is pretty normal, lol. I am 22, and working on my bachelors in Wildlife Management. I feel stressed and uneasy, and have been trying to plan my future around this. I am trying to keep it in my head that this is a just a rash with a bad stigma, but it is so hard. I guess I am lucky to have a boyfriend who is supportive, who is willing to stick with me through this even if his test comes back negative. I'm absolutely terrified he's going to leave though, positive or negative, and that I will be alone. He and I haven't told anyone about this, and don't plan on it. My mother is a nurse, but has always accused me of being pregnant or having a STD when I would feel nauseous for one morning or find a bump bellow the belt. My father would probably murder my boyfriend on the spot, even if it wasn't him that I caught it from. His family wouldn't take it well either... I'm sorry if this is just rambling, but I am still very lost, very confused, incredibly scared, and in extreme shock. It's so nice to be able to talk to people on a forum, read all of your positive and insightful posts on everyone's discussions, it really lifts a huge weight off of my shoulders knowing I have a big group to talk to, not just my boyfriend and my physician.