Sobersally1

I don't have the energy to write much now, I have never been in so much pain in my life, and I was even in a devastating car accident years ago and broke 9 bones in my body. My fever is almost at 103, and my genital sores lead all the way from my clitoris to my anus. It is so raw and so painful I seriously wan't to be put out of my misery. The story starts like this...My husband and I are both about 3 years sober from drugs and alcohol. We both lived in florida, married there, and just drove halfway across the country to move to Missouri where he is originally from. Let me also state that I am very physically active and workout quite a bit, I have a terrible habit of wearing "lululemon" an over priced, synthetic fitness apparel outfitter like ALL THE TIME. That means that I don't give my vagina much room to breathe. My husband and I are have a very healthy sex life and we both have never had any symptoms or issues we were aware of. My husband noticed something on the 16th when giving me oral sex he said my vagina tasted funny, the texture was weird. I didn't think anything of it because I had just showered and used baby powder, so I thought it was like that mixed with my body chemistry, since I had just worked out. Three days later we left for Missouri in our Ryder Truck..less than one day into it I felt like my pants were on fire, literally. I thought I was maybe allergic to the material of the pants. I have also, at a horrible coincidence, been on progesterone for 10 days when this all happened, at the suggestion of my doctor because I hadn't gotten a period in a few months. When we arrived from Missouri - my vagina was so itchy and I couldn't stop scratching it, I thought I had a yeast infection so I went and got a one day treatment and anti itch cream. Fast forward a week till we arrived here, and I have ruined all my relationships with my new inlaws, Matt's brothers and sister...I have been the meanest person ever, my mood was all over the place from the progesterone and I have been in terrible pain. Finally I let my husband take me to the emergency room last night, the welts on my vagina were so bad and the burning and pain was so intense I couldn't even walk. After my exam the doctor said immediately that is herpes. I immediately started crying and I felt like my life was over. She was really cold and kind of looked at me like it's my fault. My husband at first was super supportive and then I blamed him , I came right to the internet and read a lot about how cold sores can create genital herpes. That is what he has right now a cold sore...he says it could be from all my sexual partners in the past. Whatever the case it's here and it isn't going anywhere. I don't care about having it because I am married the only thing I care about is the severe pain I am in now. I am scared to go take a shower because it burns so bad. My husband and I haven't had sex in almost a week and that makes me sad. So many emotions..Happy thanksgiving.