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Strawberrygirl

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Strawberrygirl last won the day on October 23 2019

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  1. Hello all my lovely beautiful H buddies!! ❤️ I am here to give you courage and hope by sharing my two success stories. i have had hsv 2 for 6 years now. I do get recurrent obs as I don’t take care of my diet but super mild...so I don’t care much. as many of you newbies, I caught it after I was half dating a guy I liked...older from a good family, interesting guy who spoke 3 languages (Chinese included). We slept together twice with condom and I caught it. He was asymptomatic or so he claims. It was the 5th person I ever slept with and I was 20. 2 of them had been bfs. I really never thought it could happen to me. but it did. Oh well. i already had a terrible self-esteem before H even though I am very attractive and got plenty attention from guys...but due to life events I didn’t think much of myself. And well let’s say with h I though I would be unlovable forever and ever. Now I think...it was the universe way to show me ...not inly are you worthy of love and so much more...not inly are you super amazing...but I will show you in a very shocking way that you are. BOOM here is the h gift. fasy forward to a year later...a Brazilian guy that came to my university in exchange...we had classes together and he started flirting with me. I kinda liked him and oh well we Started getting intimate. melt me tell you, I was so mad with this diagnosis I thought I’d just use condoms and suppressive therapy and never tell... so we went in dates, we had sex...and i cried one day and told him...as he revealed that he had a gf and was in an open relationship...I remember I couldn’t say the word “herpes” and he thought I had HIV and got afraid or pregnant haha. I said “what !! No!! I have herpes!!!!” And he was like “oh, pff it’s herpes. Whatever.” then he went on to tell me that as a child he always had cold sores and felt like the most miserable child because of it. And also said “whoever rejects you because of this is a jerk!!!”. Which really made me gain confidence little by little that “wow some people really think it’s a stupid silly thing”. we dated for 6 months and never passed it. he was pissed that I didn’t tell him before but he understood and we had tons of sex and he really enjoyed it. then fast forward to about 6 months later I met my current amazing bf (we are having a break I’ll explain later). he was the nicest, handsome, from a very wealthy good family like me...good career and all. Bondlish, blue eyes, people in my family compare him to Paul Newman. They kinda look alike. I failed to reveal it once again. Event went to therapy...and I told her it was “absolutely 10000% impossible someone from a good family like him, handsome, good career and all would want to risk his sexual health when he could have any girl” well lol. After 2 months of being together, crazy about each other like I had never been before... the most handsome by far I had ever been with and nicest one too...we had been having unprotected sex...I was in suppressive therapy... and yes I know terrible but oh well. He was about to go to california in exchange for 9months...and he started promising he would write me a letter each month. So he read me out loud his first romantic letter...absolutely moving and beautiful, about me and how I made him feel and all... I started crying and told him about herpes. I thought this is it. It’s impossible he will want to be with me after this betrayal. he was shocked at first, mad, but said “now I need to follow either my heart or my head. And I choose to follow my heart.” And he said he didn’t care and understood me and wanted to be with me. herpes never bothered us again. And he has been the most supportive, loving partner one could ask for. We have been together for almost 4 years and a half. now here is the less pretty part...for about 2 years I wasn’t feeling the same with him. He was still quite a child in some aspects, we were both selfish sometimes, and now that I’m working and he still isn’t and wasn’t looking for a job as he was “enjoying life” I felt disillusioned and event started feeling strongly attracted to a co-worker who is showing great interest in me. And he is older and has great job, earns great money, good looking bla bla. i decided to break up 3 weeks ago, I felt terrible after all the love he has shown...he wants to be with me ... grow old together...he loves everything about me and says it kills him to imagine me with someone else...how incredible I am... now here is the part that kills me. I did spread it to him 3 years ago I was having symptoms told him...still wanted to have sex...he said he loves me and didn’t change how he felt about me. He suffered for 2 weeks and mentally recovered super fast. He says herpes doesn’t bother him(he has been herpes free for almost 2 years)...we have had long discussions on whether this scared him for future relationships... as part of me felt that I couldn’t leave him after giving him herpes. And I would cry and told him that I love him and want him to be happy and feel so afraid that someone may reject him and feel afraid that I ruined his love life in some way. He is so incredible always consoling me. “I promise you this doesn’t affect me, you shouldn’t be with me because of h. If someone rejects me over this I wouldn’t want to be with that person...” I still felt very depressed...as now it hit me I was alone, ni more routine, or stability or structure or cuddles...will I ever live again ...is true love possible? Will someone ever love me again as much as him? Did I do the right thing? so now I decided to go on a break. See therapists both...as we both need to grow and improve in some aspects. But it still blows me away how much he loves me despite h, despite everything. I was crying yesterday and he was telling me h is not my fault. And that had he known how much this actually affected me he would have tried to help me more. I am trying to give it a shot, reconnect and see if I fall in love again. Because he has so many great attributes that are hard to find in a bf. And I was also super anxious over possibly some day getting intimate with this co-worker...telling him...the fear of rejection and having to face him every day...as we work close together. Or even if he accepted it and things went south...how uncomfortable how horrible. I also feel afraid of passing it again eventually. I can do suppressive therapy... but not forever... now I am trying all kinds of supplements and ozone therapy. Will let you know how that goes. ok, so my story is here to give hope based in my success...even though right now things aren’t super amazing. but at least I know that when someone loves you, they won’t give a damn about your h. feel free to comment or give me love advice hahaha as I kinda need it. Also convince me it’s a terrible idea dating a co-worker haha 😂
  2. Hi there, I read your previous post of how you met at work...and reminded me so much of my current situation. i feel strongly attracted to a guy at work that is super into me...even though he knew I had a bf. I had been having doubts for 2 years about my bf...due to lack of passion, being in different pages in life, his immaturity etc. Now that this guy knows we broke up he already made advances to meet outside work... thing is now I’m having all these doubts...I still live my ex and we decided to have a break, go to psychologists to improved ourselves and see if we can improve the relationship. We have been having great sex since the break up(it’s inly been 2weeks). I feel like the passion and love is being reignited...I have tons of insecurities to work on...plus I am afraid the guy at work would reject me and tell others...or that even if he accepted, if we were to break up...we would have to see each other every day and that would be very uncomfortable. We work like 3 seats away from each other. i also feel anguished to be single, ni companion, im realizing I’m very emotionally co-dependent... like you I have told 2 previous partners and both didn’t give a crap. so many emotions mixed together. The herpes fear, being alone, not meeting the right person or anyone that I like...did I do the right thing breaking up with my ex? Coz I still love him...even though I didn’t feel the same for a while towards him...
  3. I even consider going back with my bf at some point just to gain back my stability and knowing I have someone who loves all of me by my side. Perhaps love is overrated. Perhaps what I had with him was special and I couldn’t see it? Perhaps I always want more ? Or idealize relationships and love ? How can I know ?
  4. I broke up with my ex after 4 years of relationship. It was the toughest decision ever. He loves me unconditionally. He is kind, handsome, caring a wonderful guy in general. For 2 years I had been having doubts as I thought he was a bit stuck in life, a bit selfish and immature. I felt like our conversations didn’t flow very well. Now that I am single I feel like my whole stability and structure is broken. I find it difficult to believe I will find a man that I truly fall in love with. This has nothing to do with herpes. A lot of men are interested in me always. As a matter of fact a lot of guys at work chase me. I was falling for someone but now I’m realizing he is immature, impulsive and too much of a risk. My mom who is extremely psychic and has visions has felt that with this guy something would go wrong down the road...and that I would end up quitting and losing my job. I 100% believe as all her gut feelings have always been right. I need someone to tell me about your true love connections and experiences...I just can’t imagine meeting someone else. And feel lonely and disheartened. All I want in life is to find true love, fall madly in love with each other, get married and have children. I know that I have to work in myself first. I’m only 26 years old. Herpes is a kit scary but I’ve told 2 guys and both were okay with it and accepted. I know someone who loves me for me won’t care one bit about this. but how can I believe there is someone out there for me? What if I’m not lucky enough to meet that special someone. I have a strong connection with my ex, he is my best friend. We still see each other, he still wants me. I feel confused. But I had been having second thoughts about him for 2 years...and wouldn’t get excited about getting married to him...because of some of his personality traits. And I would fantasize about other men. Sometimes life surprises you I know...and you can meet people out of the blue. But I hate being single. I dislike meeting new people like before and always wondering could he be the one...? And then realizing nope for whatever reason. please, can anyone who is happy and truly in a loving relationship give me advice and support?
  5. I understand your advice...I will keep him at a distance as friends and see how things go. I don’t want to change jobs, not now. only if i ever see ir feel a super great connection..and after a year and a half of him chasing me... I may tell him. Mi am looking for my future husband...so I need to choose my next partner carefully. We must be friends a long time first.
  6. I’m afraid because he is religious, traditional and conservative and really cannot picture him as the kind of guy who would be okay with this. Especially knowing he can have any girl he wants.
  7. Hi all, I have been at this job for 5 months, my dream job and I’m super successful. I broke up with my bf we stayed together for 4 years. And he loved me unconditionally, unfortunately his lack of maturity and some personality traits of his made me question the relationship for 2 years. I’m 26 and want to find true love. I have only disclosed to 2 guys and both completely accepted and loved me. I am falling for this guy at work, he is super into me and gets excited and nervous around me. He is everything I want in a man. He is handsome, successful, a gentleman, warm, funny, intelligent, kind and I like how our convserstions flow. He is 32 years old, perhaps a bit immature at times... He was into me since the first day...even though he knew I had a bf. Now he knows we broke up and he wants to hang out and get to know me. I am truly mortified that if I ever tell him and he rejects me...I’ll have to see him everyday and will be paranoid that he tells friends at work. how can I possibly know if he would accept me with my luggage ? I am thinking of waiting a full year of getting to know each other as friends and see how it goes...perhaps we stop liking each other and never reach the talk moment. I know work romance is a bad idea, but I can’t help but think he would make a great husband and father. I am super terrified, please convince me I shouldn’t date a coworker. I’m a hopeless romantic and can’t stop thinking about him. Should I not go on dates with him? I can tell he loves my personality and confidence. But how can I know for sure he would accept me like my previous partners? can someone fall madly in love with me and still reject me because of a stupid skin condition? I keep telling myself no. My friends support me and tell me it’s impossible if he loves me bla bla. what do you all think? I need love and support.
  8. Okay guys, so I don't know if u remember me...from a previous long discussion of me never wanting to disclose etc. I've been dating this guy for 2 months now who is on exchange in my uni. We clicked right away when we met! 3 days after knowing each other he came to my place and we were fooling around and he wanted more...I told him about my 2 hpv strains he told me he was vaccined against it and he was extremely supportive, loving about it. I didn't tell him about the h until a month after we had already started having protected sex...I know buhuu me. Anyway I felt guilty by how amazing he was with me...and me not telling him. I told him after a month this was how it went: "There is something I want to talk about and it's not nice" Him: "what is it...?" Me: I really don't want to tell u. I wasn't 100% honest about the stds. Him: please tell me! What is it? hiv?!! He said very concerned Me: noooo noooo no Him: okay please tell me I'm getting nervous. Me: I have herpes down there. Him: oh, ok, it's not too bad. Me: are u mad at me? I'm really sorry I wasn't even planning on telling u but I felt bad. Please don't tell anyone, this was a trauma for me. I said hald crying and scared. Him: no of course not! While holding my face and kissing me. Why would anyone do that, I'm not a douchebag. U should have told me so I could have been more careful, but I would have been completely ok with that from the beginning. I totally understand where ur coming from etc.. Me: I know. I'm sorry. Are u mad at me? Him: I'm a bit preoccupied. But I understand u. Me: do u hate me? Him: of course I dont, he kissed me. He said: come here and started hugging me and kissing me. We talked a bit more In the end he said can we please go back to normal now while smiling and cuddling. I decided to be brave like my friend from class in uni who also has it and she had told 3 guys so far who were all super accepting. 2 of them were bfs. I thought to myself "ok I have nothing to lose. He seems like a genuinely nice/kind guy" I told him about two weeks ago and we have continued having amazing sex. He wants to see me everyday and nothing has changed. This experience encouraged me for future relationships and disclosures. I realized that I won't end up alone and unloved. There will be wonderful men out there who will see me for me and still love me. If u don't end up choosing a jerk, the disclosing process should be rather natural and normal. He told me that any guy who was to reject me for this in the future is just a douchebag. And he is right, I also realized I won't have to lower my standards. He is cute, funny, extroverted, super smart and kind. I know that maybe I will experience a rejection or two who knows... But for sure there will be great men who will accept it!!!! :D I feel more hopeful and positive now!!! He knows everything about me!!! And still wants me!! And I feel grateful that my first disclosure went so well!!! well I dwiclosed a year ago... But to what was most likely my giver even though he got negative in the test and he wa also supportive and nice....even though we never dated after...but that's cause from the beginning we were never serious about each other. I consider this my first real diclosure because I know for sure he is not the one who gave it to me...and in fact he showed me his std test and he is clean. He is my age 21! In case anyone wants to know. :D u guys will be loved! Don't worry and be brave. I hadn't planned my disclosure take it as natural and spontaneous as possible. When I used to obsessively read everyone's success stories online I always thought maybe that will never happen to me...maybe they were just lucky...maybe im weird or not good enough for such a thing to happen to me. Truth is it happens to evrperyone, just filter the right ones in. Go with ur gut feeling or the vibes a guy gives u. I had a good vibe about him.
  9. ive had herpes for 8 months now. and i have very mild outbreaks every time i get my period. i went on the supressive therapy for a whole month didnt get an outbreak. i decided to only take the pills starting a week before my period, but i still got a small outbreak. Im not bothered by OBs at all, but it depresses me everytime to think that for the rest of my life i will have monthly OBs, hence monthly contagious :( did anyone experience having OBs every month then it got better?
  10. I'm concerned about the side effects. I would like to hear from people's experience who have been on the suppressive therapy for several years. When should i take the pill? in the morning or better at night? should i eat before taking it?
  11. Hi, I have just experienced the most unique and romantic experience of my life... About 4 weeks ago I was out with friends at a bar and met a guy, we clicked talked for a while...but at some point didn't get to say bye and exchange numbers...I knew his name, university, career etc still couldn't find him in fb. Anyhow, 3 days later I got an email from my uni saying that a guy named jacob messaged them with the hopes of getting my contact details because he had supposedly given me his phone and forgot to ask for it back...it was an excuse lol He only knew my name, degree, university and home country that's it lol Anyway I'm going on our fist date today :) I'm happy, but I keep thinking I have herpes I have herpes and he looks healthy. I want to tell but at the same time I don't.. Just wondering if I go on the suppressive therapy for a few years and then I stop...will my obs diminish or come back every month just like before the therapy?
  12. Befo re al this like 3 years ago i had sex with my ex who was a virgin like me...
  13. Ok i got my ex and the two guys i slept with after tested. They are al negative for herpes. My ex had only been with a girl before who was a virgin. The guy after, we had unprotected sex unfortunately coz he decided to take of bis condom and i was too drunk to stop him. A month after this guy i had sex with another one protected. About a week later got my ob. The lást one got tested in january, we had sex late november. He told me he had sex lást 3 months before me. So that adds up to 5-6 months since his Other affair when eh got tested. Def not him. The one i had unprotected sex. He got tested beginning of december and we had sex like late september. That adds up to 2.5 months...and assuming he didnt have sex since maybe 1 or 2 months before that makes about 3-5 months. Now the real concern is...i had an american flatmate lást semester who was a whore. She has slept with at léast 7 guys. A week before my symotoms i got a bath and she had taken a shower there like the hour before. Im wondering if i contracted it that way. Coz silly me i didnt disenfect the bath. Once she was lying on the couch and i accidentally saw her parts with panties obviously. But there was a part a round the panty that had like a strange big bump, but like huge, not like a normal pimple. Is it possible it was her?
  14. my results show that i have hsv 1 and 2 and hpv. the guy had unprotected sex with me, my friend saw his results and he is negative for all. he had a pimple on his lip, which is why i thought it had to be him. i had protected sex with a guy after him, but he had nothing on his lip and he is getting tested again, he told me he got tested during summer and he was negative for all. Could it be that the previous one got a false negative?
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