LostNConfused

So I went to the hospital yesterday, thought I was having an allergic reaction to a new shaving cream. When the doc examined me he said he believes I have herpes. I am still waiting for the lab results to confirm, but there really is no need for that. Im already in a pretty sticky situation as far as my love life. I am 21, however I don't feel look or act that young, I grew up a long time ago. I have a year and a half year old daughter, and a house with her father (ive known him for 3 years) we are not together and never really were though we tried to make it work for our daughter. A few months ago I reconnected with my MIDDLE SCHOOL (6th through 8th grade) boyfriend who I haven't seen or talked to in 10 years. It was amazing when we saw eachother again it was like nothing between us changed, we just grew up, since we reconnected, we have been together, he has proposed and we are trying to have a baby. In the last 3 years I have only slept with my baby's father and now my childhood boo. I have been tested on a regular basis for STDs and haven't had sex with anyone except my fiancé since. So I am 200% sure he gave it to me. I am currently awaiting his arrival to discuss it with him. I don't know what to say, or how to say it. I am not mad at him right now, but I will be if it turns out that he knew and did not inform me. After we had sex for the first time (we never did when we were together back in school) he said to me afterwords "you know your mine now right?" My sentimental ass thought it was sweet, but now I can't help but think that he knew he had herpes and knew he just gave it to me and wasn't coming out and saying it. I don't want this to change anything between us. We have such a great relationship. But if he didn't know he had it, I don't know how he is going to act and feel about it. So now im trying to deal with the physical pain im feeling, the emotional pain, feeling like im dirty and ashamed that this is something that is not going to go away, and im stressing about how this conversation is going to go with him. I feel so lonely right now and im hoping that once I have the conversation with him we can be eachothers support, but I don't know how he is going to respond. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man that gave me this infection, but im dreading this convo, what if he doesn't believe that he is the one who gave it to me? What if he ends it with me because he thinks I gave it to him? How do i tell him HE gave it to ME with out sounding like im blaming him and im mad. Honestly I am feeling some anger but mostly with my self for not making him get tested before we did anything. But the way I see it, it doesn't matter, i am inlove with him and probably wouldnt have let it change anything if he did get tested and i knew he had it. But what if he doesnt feel the same way? Why can't my life be normal? Why does all the "extra" stuff always have to happen to me?