fireflynajar

Hello All: I am new to this forum and looking for support. I've been in therapy regularly but thought that (h)opportunity would be a good supplement to my recovery. In a nutshell, I was told several years ago that I am a carrier for HSV 2 via a blood test. It was very confusing for me as I never and still never have had an outbreak. However, I've done more research on this and have discovered that many people are carriers for the virus without knowing it. I struggle immensely with guilt over past mistakes. At the time of my diagnosis, my personal physician told me that even though I tested positive for HSV 2, it's unlikely I could transmit the virus since I've never had an outbreak. At the time, I really believed this and so did not disclose to some of my partners. After doing more research, however, and seeking a second opinion, I learned that it is possible to spread HSV 2 through viral shedding even if I don't have an outbreak. Since learning of this knowledge, I now disclose before sexual activity that I am a carrier for HSV 2. But what I can't seem to get over is the period of time when I did not disclose. Looking back on it now, I should have went for a second opinion right away but really trusted my doctor at the time. The thought of infecting the people I cared about most gives me great pain. I hear stories of people contracting herpes and then becoming suicidal. It makes my head spin that I could have possibly spread the virus and caused someone to take their own life. I know it sounds extreme, but that's what I struggle with. Does anybody have similar issues? How have you learned best to cope with past mistakes? Thanks, Firefly