Mark007

So, a little history. Positive HSV1 & HSV2. My wife and I both got tested about five years ago, after she had an outbreak downstairs. Unsure as to when it was actually contracted. We spent a year separated about 10 years ago, and ultimately reconciled. We both did things during that time that were regrettable. So, we assume that one of us caught it at that time and passed it to the other at some point. Our relationship is okay regarding it. We don't harbour any ill will towards each other about it. I also have two children, that were in their mid teens when my wife and I were diagnosed. I don't know 100% where the virus resides in me. I don't take medication and I have never had an outbreak in either location. My wife on the other hand gets HSV2 outbreaks in the genital region. She has never had an outbreak on her face, so who knows where the HSV1 is at. So, I have two things that I worry about, and they both have started consuming my thoughts at all times now, almost out of nowhere. I deal with guilt. I know that we don't know for sure which one of us it came from, but I presume I feel guilty because I have always been asymptomatic and my wife has had a completely different experience. My other issue, which is plaguing me even more, I have started living in fear for my kids. They are both young adults now, but are still living in our house, which I like, because with the rising costs of everything, they are full time college students and I want them to stay full time and graduate without having to worry about bills and such. I have never seen a cold sore on either of them, and they have never complained about issues in other places. But, I'm extremely paranoid. I've started taking to excessive hand washing, wiping things down all the time, and constantly obsessing over everything. Like, were my hands clean enough when I did that, did I do a sloppy job washing, did they accidentally grab the wrong razor, what if one of them accidentally uses my loofa, and we'll, you get the idea. I obsess in my memories and wonder if the time that we were camping, and had no water around, the time a big storm came through, and water was shut off for three days that one time, that one time years ago when I had sex with my wife and really needed water after and grabbed a cup before taking a shower, and well, I think you get the idea. I'm sure that my thoughts are irrational, but they are always with me. They didn't always do that to me, but it seems to be doing it to me these days. If they were to catch this from me, I would be devastated. I want them to be healthy, when dating, getting married, having children. I know that most of this is probably irrational, but I can't help it. I am hoping that someone can talk some sense into me. Thanks for listening.