laketodo

I wanted to give an update here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, everyone! I really considered my feelings - my guilt comes from that he asked me a direct question and I didn’t answer. I felt like crying all day about the not being direct, so I called my GP. My doctor’s advice was actually in direct opposition to what you all suggested, though I truly understand your perspective. She thinks the odds are so incredibly low of that encounter that there’s no need to be putting this much pressure on myself. Quite surprisingly, she basically said if he really cares about this virus he shouldn’t be asking after the fact, and that it takes two to tango. It was a surprising take from a GP, but I’m weighing everyone’s thoughts here. I’m not quite sure I agree with her, but she gave me a lot of interesting perspective. @mr_hopp thanks so much for taking the time to share these things but as this is a one-off encounter and it probably isn’t moving forward, we’re talking about a situation where I will probably never trust this person or need to because I won’t be talking to him again. I could be unnecessarily freaking someone out for 2 months or more - someone I don’t even know if Im safe to tell. What if he’s a vindictive person? What if he’s violent? It’s a lot to consider.

I feel like I've asked this before, but want to get some opinions. TLDR: I hooked up with someone (no sex) and feel so insanely guilty and nervous. Long version: Was a little tipsy on Saturday night and let a guy take me home. We ended up cuddling and doing some hand stuff, lying down next to each other, a little body to body grinding. I should have said something. I didn't. He says he wants to see me again but I haven't heard from him. He asked me in the morning what my status was and I sort of didn't answer the question directly (said it had been a while since I had had sex and laughed it off). I think if I am being honest I just really, really don't want to disclose. And honestly don't know if I need to. That's what is bringing up upset for me. I dont want to scare him unnecessarily. If I do see him again I think I have to. I don't really think I put him into risk but I also think he'll be really mad and I'm scared.

Hi H opp group.. I met someone last night through friends and I think he's really cute. Total sparks. Word on the street he's not looking for anything serious, and I have no problem with that right now -- but it just sucks. I'd slide into his DMs right now, but because of my circumstances, I know that there's a noninsignificant that i'm getting rejected if I put myself out there over something SO stupid, while meanwhile revealing my status to someone who knows my friends socially. And that makes me feel really uncomfortable. In the past, I've always thought of it like this - i need to date someone who I really like/likes me so i can reveal this to them and we can get on with life, and hopefully grow a relationship. Now I'm open to being a little more casual but I have no idea how to do this with this situation. Any advice? Im a woman btw.

I am so confused by a certain stat in Dr.Warren’s writing. I have never heard about internal lesions on the cervix until I read her “good news about the bad news”. So much of what we discuss here and other places is how to focus on the low transmission rates when all precautions are taken, but isn’t that completely negated by the idea we can have open lesions internally and not know? Struggling lately with disclosure and how to present it with a mix of honesty and logic.

update - I did say something before things went there this time and he didn’t handle it as well as I would hope. He was very uneducated on what I was talking about — cold sores were unfamiliar to him. I definitely sense a change over into his attitude towards me. And I didn’t even get to the part about GHSV2 because of how poorly he responded to the OHSV1 info, and I honestly got a little scared — i had driven to his house and was worried he might kick me out or something. That said: I’m proud of myself for doing the hard thing. And living in alignment to my values of honesty and bravery. I think I learned a valuable lesson that I simply cannot move past first base without sharing my dating goals and what my status is — it creates too much anxiety for me.

Hey all — I am ghsv2 ohsv1, have had ohsv1 for my entire life (like most of the world!) Want to disclose ghsv2 to a new guy tonight, but I actually wound up heat of the moment giving oral to him last week. I probably should have said something then, but I literally never get cold sores and the odds are so low, and i honestly was having so much fun it wasn’t even on my mind. I feel so awkward and bad. Please don’t judge me! Im not sure how to thread the needle here. I am really hoping he doesn’t feel freaked out. Can anyone relate/does anyone have advice?

i keep seeing the same things back and forth about shaving — that it may trigger outbreaks. And, if you’re negative, it might create small tears in the skin, making it easier for hsv virus to get in. My question is little different. I am HSV2 positive. I found a *great* trimmer/clipper — the phillips oneblade — and it basically gives a MASSIVELY close clip/trim. i’m super pleased with the results. My question is — I have it, I didn’t trigger an outbreak. Did I create tears in the skin and now it’s easier to transmit to a negative person? Or does that only go one way.